attawie

Busy with Motherhood

2011-10-10T13:05:00.001+04:00

OMG!

Feels like I've been sleeping in a cave for about a century. New layout and I'm clueless.

Well, it's time for an update and I'm not sure if I have the time to write a real post.

Lately, I've been busy with Karam. I guess I'm busy being a mother. He is such a good boy. At times I think he's more organized than me and well-arranged as well. He knows when he's hungry and when he's sleepy. He knows when he wants to play and when to funny. Except for his loud laughter around midnight when he insists to play and that he's not sleepy.

Karam is a happy calm baby. The simplest thing can make him laugh. He only gets really upset when he's sleepy. I've never seen someone who wrestles sleep and won't give in. As if he is too excited to sleep or has an important task to do or an exciting event that he doesn't want to miss. He would tighten his fists and start boxing in the air. The moment I carry him, he closes his eyes and wants me to walk for a while - sometime a long while - until sleeps. If he's not completely asleep he would be annoyed when put in bed. So I have to take another round.

When he's hungry he not that angry unless it's been over half an hour passed his meal. When he's asleep and gets hungry he would give the cutest noises and would smack his lips. He would nurse while still asleep.

Only recently he started to hold toys and rattles or anything that he can put hands on. They would go straight to his mouth to be blessed with his saliva. It seems that our next milestone will be teething and I'm freaking out already.

Today, Baby Karam will be three months and three weeks old. This is last month's photo.
In case you didn't get it. I'm trying to create a scene and the dark green thing on the left is a tree and Karam is the friendly Bear in the middle.

That's all for now
Talk to you later

My Amazing Year Update :)

2011-07-22T02:09:00.001+04:00

Five weeks back my atelier's equipment arrived to Jordan. But with that arrival, another long awaited gift arrived; our new addition to the family; Karam.

Nine months back when KJ and I were on a trip in south Saudi Arabia we discovered we were pregnant. I don't want to talk about pregnancy and the morning sickness which turned out to be all time sickness. And don't want to talk about the aches and changes I went through, nor the miserable two days labor I went through, nor the delivery. I want to talk about this blood-stained creepy creature that came out of me whom I was longing to hold before I met him and fell in love with since the very moment he laid his head on my shoulder in the delivery room and I saw the dark blue eyes.

The other day I told KJ that if anyone thinks women wait for their babies for nine months then they are wrong. Women wait for their babies since the very doll they played with.

When I look into Karam's eyes with his hands clutching to my finger thinking of how helpless he is and depending on me totally. This idea freaks the hell out of me. Who am I to be someone to depend on in everything? Now that my world revolve around him, I feel I am the one who's depending on him. My timing, my activities, and my everything,when to shower, when to eat, all about him.

The feeling that half of this baby is me and he was growing inside of me is so unexplained.

Yesterday, we celebrated my sweet little boy becoming one month old. Tomorrow we're celebrating KJ's and I first anniversary It's unbelievable how one's life can change within a year. I got married, lived in three different countries, went to more than 6 different cities, gave birth, and experienced many firsts. I guess that's life and that's why I'm still the simple girl with complicated thoughts and have lots of things to learn.

That's all for now
Can't wait to live the rest

An Idea to Remember & A Great Jell-O Recipe

2011-07-12T23:18:00.000+04:00

It's been a long time since I wrote a real update. A lot of changes took place lately and a lot will change soon. I had a tiring mission that kept me busy for the last couple of months (which will write about later). So I'll just start from today and will try to make up for the missing pages in this blog.

While I was checking creative recipes for jelly sweets I came across this amazing very simple recipe on justJENN recipies blog

I'm still not sure from where to get unflavored gelatin. I'll have to put condensed milk on the next shopping list.

I've been lazy lately and was postponing baking the chocolate cake KJ was craving.

When I was checking the recipe blog I found this cute stickers for kids' sandwiches to remind them to attend certain classes or to remember certain things. I thought now we need the same stickers with the signature "Love, Wife" so husbands won't get forgetful. To tell you the truth, all the shopping lists I prepare for KJ I get on the same day if not within an hour. On the contrary, he adds more to the shopping list and I end up with "Did I ordered 3 different chocolate bars?" or "Do we need four types of juice?" and the list gets longer O_O

Maybe I should stick papers in his pocket saying "Stick to the shopping list. Love-wife"

That's all for now
and I'll keep posting from my drafts until I have time to write an update
Written on 27/12/2010

Shaun The Sheep is Haunting My Blog!

2011-05-18T14:44:00.001+04:00

So, whenever I check my blog by clicking a link of the comments notifications I hear a tune. I love the tune but I spent a while trying to figure out from where the sound is coming. I keep clicking here and there and closing all other tabs on Google Chrome in case the tune was coming from another tab and no use. But the moment I close the tab of my blog the tune disappears.

Lately I've been watching Shaun the Sheep. and some clips from Timmy Time. I did pass the infection-of-watching- this-cute-sheep to KJ and we do both hum the tune. But my blog?

Checking it several times with no link or a button for an audio clip I give up and forget about it. But today I did check the blog and it WAS there AGAIN. I asked KJ "do you hear it?" He said "Shaun the Sheep?" I replied "So it's not just in my head!"

I'm enjoying it even though it doesn't suite the seriousness of the previous posts but it might suite my coming posts (a secret is hidden here). Until I discover from where the tune is coming from, I guess Shaun will remain haunting my blog!

Meditating on Iraq's Current Situation: Seeking Solution

2011-04-09T17:49:00.000+04:00

During an interview that lasted for an our on State TV last Saturday, al-Maliki "questioned if those who want him to go would prefer Iraq to return to the days of dictatorship"!

"Those who call for regime change are limited in number; they are weak and voices of discord,"

I want to enlighten Mr. Prime President and tell him that the numbers of people who participated in the protest were over a million in Iraq, just in case his men were not able to count, as I doubt they CAN count.

"What do they want?" he asked, giving a list of references to deposed ruler Saddam Hussein: "Do they want the return of a dictatorship? Or the Revolutionary Command Council? Or a regime that marginalizes groups?"

So! Now those who ask for change and for a better life, better public services are asking for the return of dictatorship? The only best next option is to go back to dictatorship? Is that the new Iraq?

Iraqi's voices were shouting all over Iraq for the last months:

"Liar, liar, Noori al-Maliki is a liar"

Since there is an increase in exported crude oil (as announced by Laibi) then there must be higher returns. By selling 2,202 barrel per day, Iraq achieved the highest sales return in January that reached 6,082 Billion US Dollars.

"It is said that oil constitutes 94 percent of the country's revenues."

Then if we do the math we arrive to the fact that Iraq is one of the richest countries but its citizens living a poor life.

Agriculture Situation in Iraq
Iraq is know as "Mesopotamia". What does that mean? It simply means "the land between the two rivers". Why is this term important for Iraq? Because the entire point of establishing the ancient civilizations in Iraq was to be built next to the river. Water is important for establishing these civilizations because it's an essential element for agriculture, as well as transportation.

After the war, there are many researches proves that the water has been polluted but that's not the one and only reason for the deterioration of agriculture in Iraq. It seems there's a big plan to restrict the development of agriculture and preventing it to provide Iraq with the needed products let alone the income generated by agriculture.

Farmers abandon their farms because of restrictions set by the Ministry of Agriculture. Knowing these restrictions make it impossible for small and medium farms to survive. Here's a link that would explain this part of the problem as stated by farmers.

Yet, we face a bigger problem than high expenses of irrigation, marketing and polluted lands and water. It's a serious issue that was imposed by Paul Bremer, the American governor assigned after the invasion of Iraq. Jermey Smith, a researcher, director and editor of the Ecologist wrote a lengthy research about agriculture in Iraq. I couldn't find the original text but here's a link to what I found regarding his research.

In this paper, it is clear that the invasion created a new market for the seeds mentions in the research which makes it impossible for farmers to use the previous year harvest. That in itself a serious issue for farmers who has been used to following their own techniques of farming.

Industrial Situation in Iraq
For decades, Iraq was able to provide certain products for the entire population of Iraq and even export the surplus. The industrial sector in Iraq had the basic needed structure to flourish. Oil? check. Water? check. Labor? check. Along with many other elements that set the floor for an industrial country.

Unfortunately, the invasion has its impact on this sector too. From the very first day of the invasion, smart missiles found their way to target Iraq's infrastructure and any essential facility to destroy Iraq. Reading the article Deterioration of the industry after the occupation and its impact on the working class and the Iraqi society made it even harder for me to put my hands on a simple solution for Iraq's situation.

Lack of Security
Lack of security continues to enchain Iraqi people. This led to a huge number of Iraqis to decide leaving the country, their neighborhoods or their cities; as well as taking the option of staying home. The government, hand in hand with the collation forces, created the fake image that because of the lack of security the government cannot achieve it's goals and that the troops are needed to "keep the safety of Iraqis".

The security issue is real, but not for the right reasons. It is unsafe because of the militias of certain political parties or figures. In addition to the thugs who came up to the surface serving certain agendas. As well as the empowerment of ill-willed and criminals as a result of the absent of a true security forces.

Unemployment
All the previous issues led to high percentage of unemployment among Iraq citizens. But the most essential point regarding this problem was created by the first decision made by the collation authority regarding resolving the army and the security forces and many of ministries and other governmental institutions. This act laid off hundreds of thousands or maybe millions of workers. Another reason was the new economic orientation of the occupation and the governments created under its umbrella which aims to privatize all governmental economic projects.

Results for my research about unemployment in Iraq were varying between 40-60 %. Whatever the right percentage is, it is such a shame to have qualified experts or new graduates unemployed and suffering from poverty.

Shortage of Experts and Qualified People
It was ether because of the security issue or the threats by thugs and the new empowered criminals, Experts and people of great brains opt to leave the country in order to keep their families safe. Since it's hard to find qualified people who deserve to be in the right place when needed at the right time, we are left in the hands of a gang that call itself "A government".

For all the facts above, this year, i'm not writing a poem. i'm not writing a post lamenting what we lost because of this invasion and what we suffer under occupation. Instead, I want to face the reality and think of ways to improve the current situation.

I've always believed that if we want to make a difference then we should start with ourselves. But regarding the issue of Iraq it's not just me. I do need to collaborate with other as one person cannot do all the needed changes. What makes it hard for me to make a change is a bigger picture. Every day this picture get even clearer. America did not invade Iraq aiming the disposition of Saddam or "the so-called WMD" only. It is crystal clear that their true purpose was to control oil as well as create a new marketplace to support their investments.

Therefore, we need everybody to take a serious action from their own place to end this occupation and find the right people to take our beloved Iraq to the safety shore.

That's all for now...
But we should follow words by action.

Still Tuned to Iraq News

2011-03-07T15:04:00.002+04:00

I wonder why would the demonstration in north of Iraq is in the news and the rest of Iraq is not. Could it be that Maliki's hands could not reach to the reporters in the North?

Here's the piece of news about Sulaimanaiya

Photo: AFP – Iraqi Kurdish anti-government protesters march in the Iraqi Kurdish city of Sulaimaniyah on February

Update on Iraq's Situation These Days

2011-03-06T14:11:00.002+04:00

Since the news are raining over our head from alBaghdadia news channel with no other source of news in Arabic OR English, I decided to spread their words and do further broadcasting to reach more people.

Two Fridays came and people in the Arab world and the rest of the world are clueless regarding what's going on. I don't know what happened to the media regarding Iraq. I know what's going on in Libya is something big but that doesn't mean to overlook other parts of the world.

Therefore, here's the link of al Baghdadia translated by Google Translate. And here are some of the headings:

You can find more on albaghdadia facebook page and the youtube chanel for videos uploaded by them and by eyewitnesses.

That's all for now but...
There's much going on in Iraq

Rising Iraq

2011-03-04T02:53:00.000+04:00

For over couple of weeks I felt jealousy and had a kind of enviness in my heart. Seeing Tunis trying to change reality and the deposition of their president made me dream. Watching news about Egypt and how the people believed in themselves and their faith that they can obtain their demand gave me faith.

My jealousy and envy, my dreams and faith were all clashing within me, raising the question "why?". Jealousy ruled my head for seeing people revolting against corrupted government. Envious fed my thought, wanting what we couldn't get. By that I mean honor. I dreamed of revolting Iraq to get rid of the occupation, to get rid of the corrupted government. The result of Tunis and Egypt made me have faith in the people again.

When I received forwarded emails written by Youth of February 25th, Iraqi writers and intellectuals, and Shalash the Iraqi's articles, alone with many messages, groups and links circulated via different social networks. All these letters encouraging the Iraqi people to rise and stand for their rights. All these letters set a list of demands. They all confirmed that they do not belong to a certain political party a group, or a region and that they are all united by being Iraqis.

With unspoken anticipation I waited for Friday 25th.

The previous night I kept dreaming, thinking and praying for the best. I never imagined the government would do a single thing to harm the protesters. The worst scenario in my head was that the government would play the role of the democratic pro-people state and that they would support them but at the same time they would assign certain militias or gangster to harm the protesters or implement explosions here and there.

The Maliki did announce that it's not safe for protesters to go out in the streets since there will be "intruders" who would sabotage or harm the protesters.

But to my surprise, Friday came. the Army and security forces were hitting the protesters, using tear gas, in addition to live bullets, while helicopters flying low above people's head!

Is that all the democracy we have?!

I'm still full of hope that there will be more demonstration tomorrow and I'll pray for a better Iraq, a safer Iraq, and most definitely a peaceful Iraq.

An Iraqi Student

2011-02-26T11:31:00.006+04:00

I have to break the silence and ask you to stand for a moment to greet this Iraqi Student.

It's not just that he is working to support his family but he is still a student and investing his time in doing his homework. A salute to such insisting dedication.

P.S.1 I found this photo in a friend's profile on Facebook and I don't know if she took it or a licensed photographer.

P.S.2 I will come back for a real post shortly.
That's all for now
God bless Iraq

I'm Back... Hopefully

2011-02-06T23:49:00.005+04:00

What a journey it has been for the last six months. I got married, I flied to Amman, spent Eid with my family in Dubai, then flied to Jeddah to be with my husband, flied again to Amman, spent almost a month without KJ to be reunited and settle down in Jordan.

We took this brave decision and decided to forget about KSA, hopefully for our best.

Back to blogging! I miss it. I miss talking to the keyboard and the monitor. I miss putting my thoughts and sharing with friends I've made through blogging. I miss hearing feedback and others points of view.

I've been here in Amman for the last 45 days. I'm still not totally settled. Many days was spent to sort and put aside the summer clothes which made me discover that both of us, KJ and I, don't have much of heavy clothes for winter. Being in UAE for the last five years, I forgot what winter is. KJ has been in Jeddah for almost two years. *Takes a pause. Looks at the lines she wrote and telling herself: what a boring post this gonna be*

humph

News. You must be asking for my updates. Well lots of things took place for the last six months and I'm gonna be a bit selfish now. But I have a lot to share about being in KSA and a lot about being in Amman.

Last week my eldest sister and niece came to visit from UAE. It happened that they decided to leave Amman and settle down in UAE when KJ and I set the date of our wedding and decided to move to Jeddah. It was great to see baby Lyann taking her first steps. Whenever we chat and they update me about her I feel i'm missing a lot. I was praying that I get to be the first to see her walk. Thanks God my prayers were answered :D

My mum and Sana are coming to visit next Thursday. I can't wait to see them. I have lots of relatives here but still have to do a round of visits.

The internet connection is good here and next time I use "I didn't have a connection" as an excuse for not posting, call me a liar. I do have time and lots of stories.

I miss my atelier. I miss playing with clay. I miss being creative. Now that we're sure we're settling in Amman, we're discussing and planning shipping the equipments from UAE. Still will have to find a place or would use the balcony for a small atelier alternative for the time being.

Lately, I've been taking lots if photo. There are hundreds of them that I decided to share one every single post. The one in this top shows the view from our bedroom. You can see most of the city in this photo. It seems I still need to work more on my Panorama technique.

That's all for now
I'll share more later

A Farewell Letter - GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ - A Hoax

2010-12-09T15:18:00.002+04:00

I receive this email:

Gabriel Garcia Marquez has retired from public life due to health reasons: cancer of the lymph nodes. It seems that it is getting worse. He has sent his farewell letter to his friends, which has been translated and posted on the Internet. Please read and forward to any who might enjoy it. This is possibly, sadly, one of the last gifts to humanity from a true master. This short text, written by one of the most brilliant Latin Americans in recent times, is truly moving.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If for an instant God were to forget that I am a rag doll and gifted me with a piece of life, possibly I wouldn't say all that I think, but rather I would think of all that I say.

I would value things, not for their worth but for what they mean. I would sleep little, dream more, understanding that for each minute we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light.

I would walk when others hold back, I would wake when others sleep.

I would listen when others talk, and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream!

If God were to give me a piece of life, I would dress simply, throw myself face first into the sun, baring not only my body but also my soul.

My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hate on ice, and wait for the sun to show.

Over the stars I would paint with a Van Gogh dream a Benedetti poem, and a Serrat song would be the serenade I'd offer to the moon. With my tears I would water roses, to feel the pain of their thorns, and the red kiss of their petals...

My God, if I had a piece of life... I wouldn't let a single day pass without telling the people I love that I love them. I would convince each woman and each man that they are my favorites, and I would live in love with love.

I would show men how very wrong they are to think that they cease to be in love when they grow old, not knowing that they grow old when they cease to be in love!

To a child I shall give wings, but I shall let him learn to fly on his own.

I would teach the old that death does not come with old age, but with forgetting. So much have I learned from you, oh men...

I have learned that everyone wants to live on the peak of the mountain, without knowing that real happiness is in how it is scaled.

I have learned that when a newborn child squeezes for the first time with his tiny fist his father's finger, he has him trapped forever.

I have learned that a man has the right to look down on another only when he has to help the other get to his feet.

From you I have learned so many things, but in truth they won't be of much use, for when I keep them within this suitcase, unhappily shall I be dying.

GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ
------------------------------
It was nice to read but I don't know it didn't make sense to me. It could be published with his short story or a biography or something. Anyways. I was searching about GenPet which turned out to be a hoax and . So I liked to search more in the Museum of Hoaxes and I ran across this letter which turned to be a hoax too.

This letter is very well written but why would someone have such a talent write something and claim it for someone else?

That's all for now

Back to Life

2010-10-31T17:21:00.006+04:00

Atta: My blog seems dead.
KJ: Blogging is dead.

I miss blogging. I miss sharing. I miss how I look at my life and write events or write down my thoughts. Blame it on laziness. Blame it on internet connection. But the main reason I was busy.

Our weddings was very simple at The Palace hall, Holiday International Hotel. It was floor 12 or 14 and the hotel is located on the edge of Khalid lagoon, overlooking the beautiful corniche. We stayed in the hotel for 5 nights and than flied to Amman. Spent about a month but KJ had to report to office and my residency was not ready yet. I stayed with my in-laws and because we applied my visa when I was still in UAE so I had to go back to Dubai and then join KJ in KSA.

The Saudi embassy took the entire week before Eid off. Fortunately, I got to spend two weeks with my family and was able to seem some friends.

On September 19th, I flied to Jeddah. I was surprised. It's not like what I pictured in mind. Certain aspects are great but I expected other things to be better. (planning to post photos when possible inshallah)

The first month we were busy furnishing our home and now we're busying figuring out how to maintain a home!

We've been spending each weekend in a city and we skipped it this time because we spent the entire week visiting two cities in the south. KJ had work their and it was a good opportunity to see his birth-town and meet his aunt's family.

The amazing thing about living in KSA is getting the chance to visit the Ka3ba and do 3omra. and visiting the mosque of the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him.

That's all for now
I'll write you more from Jeddah

Just Married :D

2010-10-15T19:19:00.001+04:00

Or three month back!

Busy.. Out of Reach

2010-06-23T21:35:00.003+04:00

As I have no excuses for not posting, I thought I should update whenever I can so I won't end up with lots of things to share which usually I end up not sharing at all.

Last month I was busy finalizing my thesis and taking ceramic course at Sharjah's Institute of Arts in addition to going to my atelier and having fun playing with clay and glazes. During this month I attended so many art exhibitions and had the chance to catch up with artists/ art fans and my art teachers and colleagues.

Among the exhibition I attended I went to Sharjah's Art Museum. It was the opening reception of Old and New exhibition by students of The Institute of Arts for Special Needs. The nice people I met two years back in the Heritage Festival in Sharjah.

Last Sunday I attended a friend blogger's wedding. it's been a while since I dressed up. I felt like a princess :D It was a very nice wedding and she was so beautiful.

At my atelier, I've been working on a testing new clays and glazes and experimenting new styles and techniques and I sort of found my thing! I created a page for my atelier on Facebook then had to hide it because I was not posting. Social networking needs a lot of follow up. And I'm so not free for that right now. I created a blog for the same perpose and then didn't publish a thing too :|

My sister's family were staying with us for the last two months. Lyann is such a CSI girl (that's Cute Sweet Innocent just like what her T-shirt says!). It's been two days since they left us. The house is calm and sort of weird without her noise and smelly brown stuff! I miss her already.

What else? I miss Iraq Blog Updates and the posts by Khalid Ibrahim. I used to check one post which is enough to update me about the Iraqi Blogsphere! I still wonder why they deleted the blog.

That's all for now
I hope I won't stay away longer

Doodle 4 Google :)

2010-05-21T16:28:00.000+04:00

I've been enjoying the Google logo for a while now. Whenever I start the page and see a beautiful doodle I enjoy it and I do press the printscreen button and save that image.

These days you can vote for your favorite doodle :)

Google says:

The competition gives K-12 kids the opportunity to design their own Google logo and the winner appears on Google.com for a day so that hundreds of millions of searchers can enjoy it as well. In addition to the bragging rights, there are a number of great prizes including a college scholarship and computer's for the winner's school.

One of the dreams i liked:

Repair All The Worlds Breaks

I'm expressing my want to repair all the things that have been broken all over the world. This is what I would do if "I could do anything," because the world needs a little fixing, and wouldn't it be great if a small team of men came around fixing everything?

That's all for now
It's time to vote!

Doodle for Google :P

Meditating on Words

2010-05-09T18:02:00.001+04:00

It's been a while since I wrote something worthy of readying or sharing. My vocabulary seems to diminish and my thoughts seem to revolve around the same issues. And all I whine about is about my study and my atelier projects and artwork.
Thinking of vocabulary, I've always thought the set of words we use depends on the material we read. It's all about linguistic competency. And writing is just applying this competency and turning it into words. I've always blamed myself for not reading enough books but as I grew older I still face the same problem. I use very simple sentences with very simple adjectives and adverbs; only as needed that at times I don’t know how to describe things. I feel I'm just out of words, speechless as you may say.

Relatively I'm a fast reader but I tend to reading more than one book at a time because I get bored and move to another book but then I do go back to the old book and get interested in finishing it. Or I have a new book and I can't wait to start reading. Through the last couple of years I stopped reading novels. I think the last one was Alice Walker's Meridian. I used to read the book while waiting for the bus or when I'm on my way to the institute of Arts.

I started to read books more about self motivation, management and development in addition to biographies or autobiographies. Previously I liked books by Latin novelist like Isabel Allende and Gabriel García Márquez. There's something about reality and magical realism in their writings that captures me. I've always hated history books but when it comes to novels we read the real story behind a revolution or a war and how it affected people like ourselves. So after stumbling on a lot of useless books and stories I decided to be more careful in reading, not just because it's a bestseller or making a big fuzz. I don't want to waste time reading something useless.

One of the best books I read lately was Sharon and My Mother-in-law: Ramallah diaries by Suad Amiry. Such a book that makes you laugh and cry by reading the same sentence. Make you close the book and think of this world and where it's going. It draws such a real picture of headlines we saw on TV and read in the newspapers.
Looking at the shelves with tens of books, I decided to read Sons and Lovers. I don't know what got into my head but I was a couple of days before my travel to Amman to get officially engaged. I needed something that I can read without thinking. And that what happened; I read while thinking to myself "this is boring" "this is torture" "this is useless and not good for me to read at such times." I left to Amman and left the book in UAE. Coming back I thought I shouldn't be a quitter. Morbido was reading the book again to refresh so I thought it's a good motivation. Everybody was praising the book; mom, aunt and even my mother-in-law. I'm finishing this book. Well I haven't finish the book yet because I read like couple of pages per day but yesterday, only yesterday I got what this book is all about. Maybe that's because I don't have a brother or a son, nor the clash of two different classes. But it was an agony to read the first part.

Another book I'm currently reading (well, I was reading. Don't seem interested with the last twenty pages) is The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, a self help book by Eckhart Tolle which seeks to bring about a transformation of human consciousness. Andrea Sachs from Time Magazine has called the book "awash in spiritual mumbo jumbo" and "unhelpful for those looking for practical advice". With every line I read I think I have to edit this book or write a reply to the author. He should really consider Islam instead of the mumbo jumbo he's lecturing. (Don't steal my idea. I hope I'll be able to do this project some day).

What else?

*mind freezes for a second*

* Mouse curser flashes*

*The rest of the white page begs for more words*

Na'a … no one is fooling me. That's all for now

I think I wrote enough nonsense for one post

Holy Mysteries

2010-05-03T03:45:00.000+04:00

Lyann

2010-04-29T19:47:00.005+04:00

*stretching her fingers*

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n :O
so the keyboard does type still!

April has come and almost gone. What excuse do I have for not posting? Well, I'm not sure if that's an excuse but there's someone in my life who's taking all my attention (almost all). And no it's not KJ! It's this cute little thing with the title "atta's niece". Such a lovable baby. I just love her.

She's five months and couple of days old. Started to eat mashed vegetables and biting the best biscuit I've ever tastes, alone with Cerelak. She just started the addiction of swallowing her hand. and recently discovered she can move her feet in a circular way. When she's sleepy she draw her hands closer to her face and keep staring at them until she falls asleep. Oh and she just had her first haircut!

I've been babysitting her for a while now and she's organized better me! She knows when it's milk time and when it's other meals time. She knows that she wants to be put in bed to sleep for her bedtime.

Since my teen days I've always loved spending time with kids and I know how to entertain them. But this baby girl is different. Is it because I'm her aunt or is she special. That's something I wouldn't care much about.

I hope I can post photos of her. I guess I'll have to take a permission from her parents.

That's all for now :)

Salvation

2010-03-21T12:30:00.007+04:00

Lately I've been busy because I'm exhibiting at Bastakiya Art Fair (BAF). But I'm not talking about arts today. Through a friend I was introduced to a young promising artist and she happened to be exhibiting on the next table. She drove me and R home one day, next day we drove her home and that's how we got the chance to chitchat about life, art and religion. Art Dubai happens to be same weekend with BAF, and there was no way I can make it. I was thinking of Art Bus but it leaves from Jumaira early morning and it's such a trouble for me to get there early after coming home later because of BAF.

While we were chatting we talked about exhibition and how -this year- they all happened to take place during the weekends only and how people in this country are tired that you just want to sleep or sit and do nothing for the weekend. We talked about Art Dubai and the craziness of modern art and then she said "We always attend events about everything and run for art exhibition but we rarely attend inspirational talk about our religion" and she added "I don't want to miss Dubai Peace Convention this year".

Her words rang in my head and I checked the website of the event and told my family about it and it happened that the next day I came home and my mother got this flyer advertising for the event. Next day she came and said that she and her family spent the Friday there and it was very pleasant to see the exhibition.

So we decided to go to the convention and then would drive to Bastakiya. But the plan did not work for the exhibition was not the kind that you would see on the fly nor some of the scholars talk were to be missed. Among them were Yusof Estes, Abdul Raheem Green, and Zakir Naik. So my friend and her family decided to stay, and to tell you the truth that made my day.

Sound speakers were everywhere in the building so people are able to listen to lectures wherever they may be. But when I got into the Salvation exhibition it was very calm. for the first moment I didn't like it. I wanted to listen while I was watching. But little did I know that this exhibition is something else from any exhibition I've ever been to. I would say this is a lifetime event that I wished I could invite everyone to experience. We were there girls but the moment we stepped in we forgot ourselves and each one of us took her own trip into this spectacular exhibition. I wish I can explain how it felt to take this mind opening trip.

The way of presenting the topic was very interesting that makes you want to stay there and meditate for every single word. As you can see in the picture above, there are pictures every couple of steps. Each on showing something along with words. There were moments very overwhelming that you can't help but shedding a tear with a smile on your face. They personalized it that it makes you feel it was designed for you only, espacially when I reached the idea of where were you 10 months before you were born, then the journey before birth, that leads you to a mirror.

I've been searching online to find a presentation or a PDF document to share the experience of the "Salvation international exhibition on Islam" with you but it seems I can't find any. Before I left I asked if there was a CD for the exhibition. They said they have only the book which I already taken. I hope someday such a book will be available for public and not just for those who visit the exhibition.

This is what I found. One is the answer we're looking for (click the line please)

And this is the intro that I found online but it's not the exact intro you found in the installation, but this is a brief idea of the intro. (click the lines please)

Thats all for now

Catching Up... with Me

2010-03-05T20:47:00.005+04:00

Well it's not what I wanted to say but I have to share some updates so I can carry on blogging on other topics.

About the exhibition, I'm not sharing because I want to include a review and some photos so that will have to wait a bit.

My thesis, I found a CEO of an HRM company and will help me find answers to my study, insha allah.

My atelier, I'm spending about 6 hours per day and I just love it there. Today, my friend R came and helped me in loading the kiln. still have two more shelves and numbers of plates and stuff to add. I'm very excited about the glaze testing I'm doing. Let's pray the results will be satisfying. The girls pieces are already in the kiln and they made two full shelves. I hope their work will be nice.

The nabog tree is amazing this year. There's a carpet of nabog on the floor due to the windy weather we're having. But now the weather is getting hotter and worms started to eat the fruit from inside :S

It rained for two days and Sharjah's streets went horrible. It rained on the same day I went to my Calligraphy teacher's exhibition. Will share more about that but check this photo of the next day!

Two more cats came to the scene. One of them is black and I call "him" Fury Furry but this is the other cat's photo.

What else? my health? Thanks God I'm feeling great nothing is annoying me other then my morning allergy.

oh and my sister shared a picture on Facebook, of us and our neighbor in Baghdad. The photo was taken in 1989. what a horrible photo :|

oh oh and I'm participating in another exhibition next April insha Allah

I guess that's all for now
and I'll be back to share more :)

Cute Weird Bug

2010-02-22T19:33:00.004+04:00

I've been leaving the door of my atelier open lately. The weather is amazing; sort of cool windy with a bright sunny sky. While I was working the cats were playing outside, birds singing, the neighbor's black cat visited, and even the small kitten stepped in while i was working! so unbelievable cute.

A while later, the wind moved a dried leaf and it was one feet away from my door. I kept looking at it, annoyed that I just swept the door entrance! When I was leaving, I found the leaf still there. With a closer look it turned out to be a sort of bug. If I were still at school, or even collage, I would have caught it. Good old adventurous days! I think it's in transformation phase but i'm not sure what it is transforming into. But she seems like a fighter or in the military :S

That's all for now
I'll share cats photos later :)

Inspired! and more :)

2010-02-18T17:50:00.004+04:00

These days I feel inspired. I wish I can live in my atelier! (sepcially nabog tree is producing unbelievably big fruits this year, Masha Allah )But I'm still in the sketching phase. Can't wait to put all my ideas on paper and start playing with clay. I have so many ideas for different themes. I ran out of sketching paper and will have to buy a new sketch book soon.

Wednesday next week is going to be the inauguration of a big exhibition honoring the best student of Sharjah Institute of Arts over the last 10 years. I'm participating with two pieces (photos will be shared later). The ruler of Sharjah is attending the event.

That's all for now
Wish me luck :)

Out of the Qomqom*

2010-02-07T12:47:00.001+04:00

I'm bored, dizzy and sick of being sick. Well dizzy because I've been playing this weird game called First-Person Tetris. Last time I wrote I spent the previous weeks sick in bed. Well, now I'm feeling better.

Little progress in my study as I can't find the right people to answer my questions. I need managers/ employees in UAE, who are willing to use, or already using Intranet Blogs in their organizations. Since I can't find people in such category, my advisor said it's going to be an exploratory study. But still I need managers who are willing to gather and attend a focused group discussion where we can talk and answer the questions of the study.

My MS-office word is giving me hard time. I'm not able to add the tables of index, references, figures, among many other things. So it's really boring and time consuming thing to do it manually. I still have to edit the literature review grammatically, and finish paraphrasing the previous studies section, let alone writing the last two chapters.

I've always loved my study, loved reading books and even better writing my own philosophy regarding what I read and what I'm really interested in i.e writing a thesis; BUT (yes a big but here) this is different.

My life seems upside-down. I have a lot in mind; projects and plans. Yet I feel my life is pending and I'm spending my days just waiting. it feels like gazing at a white wall with nothing in mind, but this wall is full of scratches and sketches of my thoughts, and they are getting messy and crowded.

***

oh, I almost forgot! Today was my father's birthday and as usual, Atta Crocker backed a chocolate cake. No photos this time. we ate it before I could take a picture.

Happy Birthday dad, even though I know you don't read my blog but I'm sure mom will tell you I wrote :)

* Qomqom: the bottle where the jinn are kept .. but in Arabic the word is uses for people who hide away for a while.
P.S. don't over play the game I gave in the link. it's really .. no healthy :|

That's all for now
I hope you can make sense out of this post

Zemanta

2010-02-02T14:08:00.007+04:00

I just found this Zemanta thing. Actually this is smart. I always need to add Wikipedia links, videos and photos to my posts but I too busy to check this Zemanta myself. If anyone tried it please update me :)

That's all for now

Hot .. out of the Kiln

2010-01-25T22:57:00.001+04:00

My beloved Google Account

2010-01-14T22:15:00.003+04:00

I've never new how much I am attached to my E-life, my Gmail, my Google account until this passing moment! They say when people die, their entire life flashes in their eyes. For a moment, seeing this message, I freaked out thinking: "my email, my archive, my online picasa web albums, my documents, my blog, MY ENTIRE E-LIFE flashing in my eyes!!!!

Then, I tried to sign in again, saying all the prayers I know, staring at the monitor, pressing the "sing in" button worried as much as hopeful and it worked. Thanks God, I can't be more thankful than what I feel right now.

That's all my now

P.S. Google people, I love you so much. Please don't mess up with me again. It really breaks my heart and takes away the trust I've invested in our relationship :)

A Cute Couple

2010-01-13T15:03:00.002+04:00

Previously I complained about studying and how busy I was trying to juggle between university and study, atelier, house chores and another social activities. After KJ's visit, mom went to Amman and came back with grandma, we went to many places and yet I had to skip some of them. No, not because I was studying, but because I was sick. I spent the last two weeks lazily in bed. Now I'm all fine al7amdulillah, but I'm struggling to maintain my usual routine and struggling to go back to my study. I'm just revising it right now and still have two chapters to go.

***

Found this cute couple in a collection photos of the moon :)
That's all for now

QAQ

2010-01-06T20:57:00.001+04:00

QAQ as in Qanatu Al Qasba
First time testing mobile blogging!

Green Leaf

2009-12-20T11:19:00.002+04:00

I'm still working on my thesis. Progress is something obvious but I still need to speed up more than just a little. I'm rewarding myself and earning my hours in playing with clay in my atelier. This is a tile which I made for gardens. It's part of a collection. Can be hanged on walls or put under the water tab of gardends or just to step on between isles :)

That's all for now

New Hijri Year Prayers

2009-12-17T21:11:00.000+04:00

I like to share this Hijri New Year wishes with you

The year has come to an end,
its sweetness and bitterness
happiness and sorrow

Here comes a new year
Therefore, let's start a new page for the new year
Don't look behind, that's a painful past
Nor at today, for it is present that would bother you
Nor forward, that's future would brings you insomnia

But look above, there's the Merciful God

Apologies to all those I did wrong unto, neglected or hurt unconsciously

That's all for now
Happy New Hijri Year :)

Interesting!

2009-12-14T23:56:00.001+04:00

Saw this and kept thinking of the last question.

P.S Keep the volume low :)

Anything But My Bathroom

2009-12-09T16:33:00.009+04:00

So, the hour I spent today sterilizing my bathroom was unplanned. When jiddo (grandpa) came to visit last year, he stayed in my room and took over my bathroom. I spent about a year in the guest/maid/ laundry room or call it what you will. It's a small room with its bathroom where I spent most of last year studying and preparing for my previous thesis. Such a small room where I used to sit on my office chair and move from here to here, because there was no there.

Back to jiddo's visit. Or right after that, when I discovered the seat of toilet was a bit loose. I told my dad to inform the maintenance back then. then jiddo came to visit again and it was all forgotten. Then my sister Sana finished her study and came to live with us. With her first visit to the bathroom she fixed the loose seat! Thanks Sue :D

Last month I came from Jordan and found the seat loose again. Told dad to inform the maintenance department and next day they came and fixed it. Thanks BUT from that day I noticed spots of water, then bigger wet areas and my sister checked and said the tank is leaking. "So they fixed the seat to break the tank" I believe. We informed the maintenance and they sent a worker and oh my he said the tank is leaking! I thought "we told you so!"

So we waited almost two weeks! and today they sent Mr Know-How-To-Fix-Things and he did fix the tank. While Atta doing her mission of sterilizing the bathroom she discovered now the seat is terribly loose. So they came to fix the tank and break the seat!

First time I tried to flush the toilet an aircraft was in the air. But the sound was sort of coming from the tank! OMG then it landed there I think and a bomb sound was made to announce "the tank is Full" :S

What I am annoyed about is not the broken things or fixing them or the aircraft sound. I'm only annoyed about the idea of a stranger in my bathroom. You should see me, hiding inside my room telling dad to watch the man and not let him touch a thing. I never go in and never want to see someone there. A couple of times I would ask dad what did the worker exactly touch in the bathroom. Dad rolls his eyes and mumbles a couple of words and mention an OCDic friend and move on with his life, while I keep scrubbing every inch in the bathroom.

That's all for now
I wish dad can fix it

No Thanks, I'm not listening to news for now

2009-12-08T21:05:00.007+04:00

To study, to focus, to forget the world and sit down and write my thesis is not an easy thing to do. At time I forget myself reading, rereading and writing and editing. Then for a moment I feel I'm looking at a blank white board with a sound of silence that's too good if it lasts another 30 seconds without the AC noise coming back or a neighbor child's scream coming from the window, OR Aasi voice on TV. (don't get me started about this Turkish series my sister is watching).

Today, that sound of silence and meditating and focusing on a certain phrase I was trying to sculpture was broken by the news on the TV for a moment, then my sister voice, obviously calling Baghdad. I went out of my room and asked "what is it? where now?" only to hear my sister's choking voice telling me the update of the news in Baghdad.

"That's why" I said to myself "I've been blocking all news, tv and online, so I won't face the reality and look at my life in exile, just a trivial thing. So I won't think of my thesis a silly thing compared to real life events and stop studying"

Handmade Iraq maps by attawie

That's all for now
Let's pray for Iraq

Real Time Search!

2009-12-08T16:57:00.002+04:00

This is beyond expectation!
I'm loving it!
wow wow wow
speechless

I could be over excited about it but Google is like my left hand and this is just amazing :)
That's all for now
Google will reveal more :D

Hopeful

2009-12-07T12:05:00.003+04:00

Another morning to wake up late and miss the walk to the lake. I'm disappointed but I hope I'll study more and make up for the early morning hours. I miss working on the wheel! I told myself if I finish this ammount of writing I'll reward myself and go to the atelier and work on the wheel. Let's see what will happen.

Meanwhile, I'm sharing this handmade plate which I made along with another bunch of plates but took me a while to glaze them and I'm still left with many biskit plates waiting to be coloured.

That's all for now
let's hope for more

Animator vs. Animation!

2009-12-06T14:28:00.006+04:00

I'm not sure how many times I watched this but it's so fun and relaxing.

Just click on the text here, click on play,
then leave the mouse alone , sit back allow internet explorer page to open and
enjoy a piece of creative brilliance.
I wonder who had 'time' to do this.

not sure if there's copy rights or something :S

Seeking Fresh Air

2009-12-05T17:35:00.004+04:00

It's been a week since I started my morning walks to the lake. It all started when R called and said "I'm going for a walk to the lake, please don't say you're busy studying or talking to Khalid". I rolled my eyes for sure but kept telling her I meant to walk to the lake this week but needed a merical to get me out of bed. She made fun about me supporting her for going to the lake and tried to make sure that I'm not saying complements or going to the lake just because it's officially called Khalid's Lake. (where I have to add a secret here that KJ and I are planning to go to the lake soon and add the phrase "and Atta" on the lake sing :D )

So off to the lake, with my cap and tennis shoes on, ten minutes and I'm there. Looking at the magnificent view; the bring sun, a blue sky with cotton candy white clouds here and there, the sound of the waves along with birds songs. It's still too early to feel the burning sun of UAE but yet not that early to feel the coldness of the early morning.

Forgetting my study and the burden it puts on my shoulders with every morning, which feels like a monkey hanging over my neck, I take my steps smiling at the wonderful morning and crossing my fingers wishing I would accomplish something today.

Now I'm going through a weird phase where I want to share all about my dreams and plans as well as the huge amount of inspiration I have for making new collection of ceramics. But I find myself confused whether to publish my work and art using Attawie or should I start an official blog with my full name to post. If I started a new blog for my art are would I link it to this personal blog? Do I want Attawie blog, my den, to be public to friends and family, here where I write my words right from my thoughts? Not sure yet, but until then I'll be sharing here.

Snail

That's all for now
let's wait for more

Happy Eid!

2009-12-01T01:24:00.000+04:00

I know it's late but something is better than nothing :)

Eid is Coming!

2009-11-21T02:22:00.006+04:00

Don't freak out! The sound you're hearing right now is called "Takbeer" it means saying "Allahu akbar" i.e. God is great. There are several ways to say Takbeer,

I ran into a website and I heard this takbeer and there were these crazy html language which I don't know how to deal with but there was a note saying "add this to your website" and I thought "I can give it a try". Even though I hate templates and I've been afraid to change a single dot in it, not even adding "My fiancé" next to KJ's blog! But the sound actually worked!

I'm enjoying it!
That's all for now
and I hope you enjoy it too :)

Distributing Smiles :)

2009-11-17T23:14:00.004+04:00

After the date was set, tickets were booked, luggage packed, 28th October, my dad, sister and I were in the airport to fly to Amman. My mother came from Amman only the night before and the plan was to join us the next week. But, mom's relative decided to join us and fly to Amman too.

Carrying too many big bags we were transferred to Overweight luggage. It was 7:30 in the morning and our flight was 9:30. The lines were still empty. We were the only family there weighing our bags the woman on the counter said "you may leave to Amman but I'm afraid the old lady won't" We all had huge exclamation marks over our heads. She added "Her passport is an S"

Attawie's thoughts were "It's ok, no problem. She can go back but I'm leaving to Amman, to KJ, to do the civil marriage papers. Calm down, smile and breathe."

The old lady worried and nagging how to go back to the city with all her bags. My dad went to check the airport security if the regulation is right and she can't fly with; my sister busy with weighing bags and putting tags. And Attawie was distributing smiles here and there pretending there was nothing.

Almost an hour passed and we're still in our same place. The airlines were waiting for a Jordanian authority to wake up and report to work, due to time difference, so they can give us instructions. We waited and waited and people start to come and go. The airline employees' shift changed and the new people are asking what the story was. We explained to them and one of them was really worried and stayed with us giving us consolation. She said "I'm new here, almost a month. But let me tell you that I was given instruction not to let any Iraq or Palestinian on the plane without calling my immediate boss. It's a rule". Attawie was standing distributing smiling here and there and announcing "I'm the bride".

Almost two hours passed and we're still in our same place. My sister called the Jordanian embassy to check if an Iraqi with an S passport can enter Jordan. They said there is such regulation but since the passenger is a resident in another country then there's no problem until 2010. We informed the airlines and the airport security and they said they have to check with the embassy themselves. And Attawie still distributing smiles here and there assuring herself "it's nothing!"

An airport security officer was really nice; he said the airplane won't fly without you even if we had to delay the take off. He stayed with us for so long and kept assuring us there won't be a problem.

For me, I was ready to fly that day no matter what. It's a matter of booking a taxi and finding someone to carry the relative's bags and send her to the city. As simple as that, a piece of cake. But she was so worried about leaving and not leaving, mumbling and nagging and talking to herself. I really like the lady but "hello! I'm the bride" it should be all about me, me and me!

Dingdong "Alnidaa alakheer lirokab al ri7la raqam XYZ almotawajiha ila Amman"

- Atta: what was that?
- Sana: didn't notice.

Dingdong "This is the final call for flight no. XYZ heading to Amman"

Attawie starts distributing smiles extensively. Next moment another Airport officer comes and stands next to our luggage on the scale. He starts saying words in his walky-talky I couldn't understand and whispers to the airlines employee. The bags went in and disappeared from our sights. We're given a paper to pay for the overweight luggage. The Airport Officer No.1 accompanies us to the accountancy. We're sent in the lift to gate…" na'a no gate, an airport officer will receive you there".

My sister with her knee injury, dad with his right thigh torn muscle, the old lady with her back pain, were all meters behind me when the lift door was open. I found the officer and quickened my pace. The officer said something in his walky-talky and in seconds a female officer received me. She said where are the rest? I pointed at them. Now I was runny with her and followed by the rest. She said something in the walky-talky and added "I've got the bride. The four people are following". Another female officer received us and she was accompanied by a guy dressed in formal airport uniform. He took me to the airline's desk to take the boarding cards. Passports were with my sister. He said follow me and they will get the cards. We headed two floors down on feet and there UAE officers were waiting for us and a big bus took us to the airplane. The hostess received us with smiles pointing towards ours seats; the only empty seats on the plane. Felt all eyes were staring at me. I was thinking "OMG they must be saying this is why we're ten minutes behind schedule" So I had to continue distributing smiles!

Within seconds we were flying in the sky heading to Amman. And Attawie still distributing smiles but instead of praying silently in her heart she was now thanking God everything went great.

That's all for now
But there will be more later :)

yay :D

2009-11-08T20:14:00.001+04:00

Ya naaaas! Ya 3alaaaaam!
KJ mal Atta o Atta mal KJ! :D

Auntie Atta!

2009-10-22T00:55:00.004+04:00

I'm an aunt!

Yay :D

I can't wait to see my niece!
She's a cutie. I love her already.
My sister and her baby are both in good health alhamdulillah.

Wishing I was in Amman, I only got to hear her crying on the phone after she was born and then mom and my brother in law kept updating us with photos of the baby girl via MMS. It took them 24 hours to give her a name! and what a lovely name; Lean, Leann, Leeann, Lee Anne. still not sure of the spelling.

Thanks God for this gift. God bless her for us. :)
That's all for now
I'll update you soon
_____________
Update:
I'm in Amman and Layoona is such a lovely tiny girl!

Happy Birthday Dana :)

2009-10-09T15:47:00.000+04:00

I hope you'll like it :)
Many happy returns our little princess :)

Hopeful Smile

2009-09-29T00:56:00.004+04:00

Oh how I miss blogging!

A lot has been going on lately, unfortunately that means more secrets to hide from you. I feel like writing the story of my life but that's too early I guess. Time would shape my perspective and prove me either right or wrong. That's why the story shall wait as well as proceed. Since you're here I'll share bits and pieces of this story.

Today I received my MBA (General Management) degree from the States, finally! I've been waiting since April. I got an A for my thesis and a GPA of 3.67 *bows for applause*

Earlier, I shared with you that I applied for a double major but things did not work. Months passed, while I was in the process of writing my thesis, I was informed that my wish to do double major was answered and the dean approved it. Had to do extra courses and take a course from EMBA program. All went great -al hamdulillah- and here I am in the process of writing my second thesis.

The second specialization is in HR and my thesis is about Blogging and the use of Intranet Blogs in organizations. That's why I've been reading tens of blogs and online publishing about Blogs. I don't have hard copy of references (books or journals). The topic is new and there are books but most of them study blogs as a phenomena in marketing, PR, and organizational image. Thanks to David, who helped me over a year back with finding references for my Organizational Communication course when I made a presentation about the Revolution of Blogs in OC. I was really fascinated by the topic and that's why I had to adopt it for HR and spend extra effort to achieve what I have in mind regarding the topic.

:)

That's all for now
Wish me luck

Friendship & Love... in one picture

2009-09-25T21:10:00.001+04:00

Eid Mobarak

2009-09-20T20:00:00.000+04:00

عيد مبارك
Eid Mobarak

:)

Restless Freedom

2009-09-17T15:37:00.004+04:00

Watching this video over and over even after a couple of days, not knowing why exactly, shedding tears of mixed feelings, all I know is that people need to know about this all over the world.

It's the video of the press conference that was held after Muntadhar al Zaidi, the Iraqi journalist who threw a shoe at Bush, was released.

This part of his speech keeps occurring to my mind as if I've seen it with my own eyes.

"...a feeling of shame haunted me like an ugly name because I was powerless.And as soon as I finished my professional duties in reporting the daily tragedies of the Iraqis, and while I washed away the remains of the debris of the ruined Iraqi houses, or the traces of the blood of victims that stained my clothes, I would clench my teeth and make a pledge to our victims, a pledge of vengeance.The opportunity came, and I took it.I took it out of loyalty to every drop of innocent blood that has been shed through the occupation or because of it, every scream of a bereaved mother, every moan of an orphan, the sorrow of a rape victim, the teardrop of an orphan. I say to those who reproach me: Do you know how many broken homes that shoe that I threw had entered because of the occupation? How many times it had trodden over the blood of innocent victims? And how many times it had entered homes in which free Iraqi women and their sanctity had been violated? Maybe that shoe was the appropriate response when all values were violated. When I threw the shoe in the face of the criminal, Bush, I wanted to express my rejection of his lies, his occupation of my country, my rejection of his killing my people. My rejection of his plundering the wealth of my country, and destroying its infrastructure. And casting out its sons into a diaspora.After six years of humiliation, of indignity, of killing and violations of sanctity, and desecration of houses of worship, the killer comes, boasting, bragging about victory and democracy.

He came to say goodbye to his victims and wanted flowers in response. Put simply, that was my flower to the occupier..."

You can read The full speech of Muntader after he was released on Khalid's Blog.

I'm glad he decided to share and glad about his goals.
Can't find a better video or links. I'm sort of in hurry.

That's all for now
I wish we can find peace

Surah Al Qadr

2009-09-13T09:02:00.001+04:00

That's all for now :)

Words I Want to Share :)

2009-09-10T15:17:00.008+04:00

My Dear Blog,

I am aware I've been away lately, unsure if it was the lack of motivation or being busy with life. It's not that you're not part of my life, on the contrary, at times I see you as the mirror that I look into to show me what I've done and reflects to me whether it's right or wrong. You even helped me evaluate myself, my thoughts and deeds. You've been the door to a whole new world to. Giving me the chance to express myself, introducing me to friends, opening my eyes to appreciate life from different points of views.

Knowing that I've been away for several reasons doesn't mean I don't care about you, neither does it mean I don't want to share with you. For that I'm sharing a secret I've been hiding for a while. I'm going to have a niece! (the secret I talked about earlier) :D

Yes, I know! It means I'm going to be a khala (an aunt). I'm going to be "cool auntie atta" :D

Unfortunately, I missed most of the shopping and preparations for the baby. One because my sister is living in Jordan, second is about me being busy or not there when my mother and Sana went for shopping. I did attend a couple of shopping trip (or was it three times?) and I got something for the baby. It's this tiny stand for bathing. I've never seen one before but the moment I saw it I thought "yay, we put it inside a tub or sink and put the baby on it" it looks like a tiny slide with Pooh and the gang (or was it Tigger? I sent it months ago).

What else did I miss to tell you lately?

Oh! me and another Iraqi female bloggers met at Zhra's for Fotoor (the meal for fast breaking) and then we had to hurry up and sit in a the car just like "Sardine fish in a can" as Zhra calls it. We were in a race with time to catch Isha Prayer (The last of the five daily prayers) followed by Tarawee7 (Ramadan night prayers). The Imam was Salah Bu Khatir, one of the best Quran Reciters I've ever heard(Click to listen)(Click for Translation). When I heard his voice of the first time, was about 18 months ago, I thought he was The best reciter ever.

It was my first time to pray in a masjid in UAE and it's the first time to pray Tarawee7 outside my home. The feeling of being one among those who pray in a group is amazing. How the people are scatered here and there and in one phrase said by the Imam they all stand in in straight lines with not a word to utter is such a feeling that cannot be described in words.

Click to listen :)

Today is the 19th day Ramadan, this night we're going to start the first day of the last ten days of Ramadan. They are considered the best days and they are yet to come. It is believe that the Night of Al-Qadr (The Night of Decree) is one of the last tend nights in Ramadan (Read the links for listening and translation).

oh, and yesterday 9/9/2009 at 9:09:09 was Dubai Metro opening!

A lot is going on in my life and on my mind and I needed to write this and clear my thoughts and hide in my den, at least until Eid. So my dear Blog, even though I'm away but I'll always come back with news and secrets I want to share.

*My calligraphy says: Mobarak Alaikum Ashahar (مبارك عليكم الشهر) May this month be full of blessings to you :)

That's all for now
Until I can share some more.

Ramadan Mubarak :)

2009-08-24T00:39:00.006+04:00

اهلا رمضان :)

Welcome Ramadan :)

Accueil Ramadan :)

Click here and enjoy this gift, a nasheed by shekh Afasi, in three languages; Arabic, English and French :)

That's all for now
oh and this calligraphy is written by me :D it says Ramadan in Arabic رمضان :)

Bonjour Mes Amis

2009-07-31T12:25:00.001+04:00

I'm sharing PHOTOS of my breakfast, not MY breakfast :P

Pancakes?

Just for me

Even the last bite :D

That's all for now
stop begging!

Bored I am :|

2009-07-29T19:25:00.004+04:00

Read read read...
Read some more.
Write write write...
Write some more.
Hungry but too lazy to cook.
Messy but too busy to tidy.
Bored like never before.
Absurdity is in the air
and I just don't care

Leopard and the New Born Baboon

2009-07-08T15:00:00.000+04:00

I've never liked monkeys but I could not help falling for this poor baby baboon. I've been checking this video every now and then for weeks now!

That's all for now

Something Fishy is going on :D

2009-06-29T23:00:00.000+04:00

I loved this piece of news when I read and and I missed looking at the design so I cam to see it on my blog but I discovered this post was never published! so here it is in case you missed it :)

I really admire the artist who designed this beautiful Jellyfish

Presenting Arts on a Tray

2009-06-28T22:30:00.005+04:00

She spreads her imaginary wings and flies to her own glittery world, where the cause of her effect seems just normal, with a trick of magic of different colours, she flies and takes thee off to her Fairyland.

An Iraqi mom, inspired by the cute smiles of her little ones; Moved by their sweet laughter and paralyzed by their tiny tears. My friend, Nadia, decided to join the blogsphere and present you her arts on an artistic virtual tray. I leave you my friend to take an adventure in her world, to enjoy a taste of The Neverland on her Art Tray.

The sleepy moon goes rounds and rounds
Colored with rainbow; shyly smiles

Burdens with worries yet it hopes
bright your sky and bid you good night

That's all for now

Heal The World

2009-06-26T14:23:00.005+04:00

Everybody was crazy about Michel Jackson and how he was phenomenally talented in whatever he did. I wasn't to know him if it's not for the big fuzz they made about his music and dancing.

The only album I had was HIStory. It wasn't really mine but my sister was a big fan that time. It was around 1996, I guess. I don't remember much of the songs and even though he made a good material for news, magazines and gossips but when I hear the name Michel Jackson I only remember the good things about him; Heal the world, We are the children, and the Earth song.

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Maybe the world would stop talking about if he was white or black, good or bad, Muslim or not.

That's all for now
and... Let's heal the world

My Arabic Calligraphy Homework Notebook

2009-06-25T17:09:00.003+04:00

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm proud to present to you the first set of alphabet of Arabic Calligraphy - Diwani style. This is the first movie I make from photos using Picasa 3. I don't have a scanner so I was using mobile cam, and my camera. Bad lighting and lazy me :)

Enjoy :)

I thought making a movie is better than posting 20 photos or more. if you can't view the video then check this or try the following online album:

Arabic Calligraphy

That's all for now

A tip for Lazy lonely Selfish People

2009-06-23T20:59:00.008+04:00

Well well well! I'm bloging again (thanks to the fake crowds out there for embarrassing me to post). It's been hectic lately; sleep-deprived, disorganized, lazy and... Well, not really sure what else.

After postponing the laboratory investigations whether the "5 minute Microwave Chocolate Mug cake" is a myth or a truth, I decided to reward the awaiting-bribed-crowds with chocolate cake. I thought it takes 5 minutes so why not give it a try! And a try it was, yes indeed.

But alas, I ended up with failure due to overexcitement and carelessness.
Here is the recipe so you can understand where I messed up.

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE!! (the recipe was emailed to me with photos but I'm posting my photos. You can google it to find it)

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract and your favourite tipple
1 large coffee mug

Add dry ingredients to your largest mug and mix well.

Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using), vanilla extract and a drop or two of your favourite tipple, then mix again.

Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts (high).
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!

I made sure that I followed every single step and set the microwave on 5 minutes and kept watching. It really went high over the top of the mug and here I got really excited and started to jump up and down as the smell was very promising! The excitement lasted for few seconds because the cake was starting to shrink! the smell was revealing that something is being burnt! So on the 4th minute I decided to stop the microwave. the smell was horrible and I ran in disappointment to my laptop to re-read the recipe only to find out that it should be cooked for 3 minutes only! OH.MY.GOD. then why it said 5 minutes chocolate mug cake!

Looking at it I thought it's not that bad :)

Not that bad at all!

Oh My God! wait a minute! that's where the burning smell was coming from!

I spent the rest of the day and evening burning candles to get rid of the smell.

To tell you the truth, when I read the recipe I wasn't that interested. I thought this suits selfish lonely people who don't care to bake a whole cake and share with others. and this reason was the curse as I believe. If it works great for you, cut it into two halves and share it with someone else :)

If next time the recipe works better I'd share at least the photos with you

.............
Update:
A friend just sent me this healthier version of same recipe

That's all for no

An Open Window to my World.. Have a Peek

2009-06-14T14:44:00.004+04:00

First of all hi everyone
I miss blogging. I miss sharing (but not food). I miss writing poetry. I miss a lot of things but somehow 24 hours per day is very little and I'm wondering again if we could add 8 hours for sleeping to the 24 hours.

A lot happened during May. Many things took place apart than Bu Qtair experience my sister's airplane. But I'm not sharing everything :)
After celebrating my sister's birthday and hospital visit and checkups; I had the chance of meeting a group of Iraqi female bloggers. It was different from other meetings for we had an exact purpose for the meeting other than just to get to know one another (I'll think of sharing later).

A couple of visits to our relatives; they are leaving back to Germany for good. I'm going to miss those five little ones horribly. Whenever I see them I take bunch of photos knowing they are growing up so fast (mashaAllah) but never thought I see them off so soon. Yes, we Iraqis always travel, and yes we have to leave and say goodbye (as touta says) but the bad thing about it is that we never know when, where to, why and how.

As for my atelier, the unwelcomed visitor disappeared and I'm glad for that. Hopefully I won't see him again on the walls, ground, TV or anywhere else. As for my work, I've been working on a collection of letters as per N's request. She wanted me to make the initials of her little ones. If it turned out cute I might share some photos.

My sister Sana left to Amman and I have no one to annoy. The house seems so calm lately. I'm thinking of flying her airplane now but there's a missing battery.
Another reason for being busy, as if I don't have enough reasons, is that I joined the institute of Arabic Calligraphy and Ornament. It's something me and my friend R were thinking of since we were done with the Art institute. After about a year the plane was executed and it feels like we're back to kindergarten. Now I'm sharing photos but please NO laughs.

This is Diwani and you can read about it here. or just write Diwani in Google Images to see the beautiful photos available on the net.

Alf

Ba'

Dal

Ra'

Any my favorite so far, ladies and gentlemen, the Seen

That's all for now
and stop laughing at my handwriting

Bu Qtair Cafeteria

2009-06-05T23:49:00.008+04:00

"There's a child inside of all of us" is a phrase that expressed the childish behavior all of us do every now and then but when it comes to my little sister, it's a whole different story. The other day her colleague asked her what does she want for her birthday and my sister innocently said "an airplane". My sister became 24 years old a couple of weeks back.

She came home with gifts and flowers from her colleagues but she was mostly excited about The Airplane! Actually both of us were. But after a couple of hours I got bored and its sound became annoying and forgot about it.

My sister keeps recharging the batteries and keeps annoying me with its sound. I shouldn't have given her the rechargeable ones.

Anyways… to celebrate her birthday, I made some sweets and bought a cake. Then she only wanted us to spend the rest of the evening at Bu Qtair, a seafood restaurant. I don't know what words to use to describe the place and if the word restaurant is applied to such places. This is our second visit but since the place was dark it was hard to get a good photo. Everything was blurred. So let me try to describe.

First of all, we heard about the place from mom's colleague who been there and said it's The place where you taste the Best Fish Ever. She heard of it from an article in one of Dubai's Luxury Magazines and shared the article with mom.

We drove for two hours to get there, only to be disappointed about the bad lighting, seating and the horrible smell of the neighborhood, since it is in Jumaira Beach area. If you happen to walk in Main Street of Jumaira, you'd feel like walking in Cannes Street; it's the best neighborhood in Dubai people dream of living there. But back to where we dined; It was literally a cabin that was located in a Kharaba (abandoned land with remains of a building and usually a lot of garbage here and there). On the same piece of land there were handmade small boats and fishing nets. The only light of that kharaba are the avenue lamps.

The plastic tables and chairs are scattered on the sand of the kharaba. Some people are sitting at tables and others are waiting to be seated. Some are waiting in their cars and others are standing and waiting for their takeaway meals. With this inconvenient setting, it is not easy to get a table. There are no reservations, mind you.

In our first visit we were accompanied by my brother-in-law. After the two-hours-drive, expressions of disappointment were visible on my sister's face as well as mine. He whispered to us "just pretend it's alright and let's wait and see. If you didn't like the food I'll take you to another restaurant". Mom and dad went inside the cabin to order. After about half an hour, a man came out of the cabin and called my Dad's name and took the plates to a different table. We were in a shock! Why he's ignoring us if even if we're saying we're here!

The man disappeared and came after a while. He called a different name but came to our table and to place our order. That was hilarious. In our second visit, we saw a family who looked shocked just like us in our previous visit when his name was called and the food went to a different table.

The plates are plastic but the second time they were disposable. They serve you salad that's made of white cabbage, onion and lime slices. In addition to that, they serve you a spicy red sauce that I have did not even dare to taste. The shrimps made fire comes out of my ears but the taste was too delicious to stop eating.

But the fish! The look was not encouraging but the smell… Oh. My. God. Never tasted such a thing before and I don't think there's a place that cook such delicious fish and now I'm sure if the kharaba was even darker and the smell of the shore way much more horrible, people would still come to taste Bu Qtair's seafood.

Bu Qtair :)

Bu Qtair kitchen inside the cabin

fish

the spicy sauce

That all for now...
Happy belated birthday sis

Peeks & Runs

2009-05-21T22:49:00.001+04:00

While my sister and mother are watching the American Idol finale; I chose to disappear in the kitchen because I'm no longer interested in that show. I've never really watched any season other than season five 2006 when Taylor won. I used to spend most of the weekends with Hana Banana and she was a huge fan of Daughtry, which made me sort of a fan. Now every season in the same for me, even the Arabic version, one season and I'm bored.

Back to the kitchen, nothing serious is going on, Iron Chef Mario Batali was busy with small lobster on Fatafeet TV, so I was just following mom's direction and dicing boring vegetables and boiling them. Rumor has it there will be chicken and vegetables pie.

Anyways, I've been busy with university papers, which still have some work to do. Busy with my atelier and the gekos and how to get rid of them. I can't believe they kept me away from my work for about a week! I just hate them and can't stand them being around, so coward, silly, weak, call me what you will.

Yesterday, I spent the entire day at hospital doing check-ups and thank God, I'm all fine.

That's not all but at least for now
Talk to you soon

Wealth, Success and Love

2009-05-06T18:59:00.000+04:00

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in"

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!! !"

The Story of Stuff

2009-04-28T15:31:00.007+04:00

This is a must seen mind-blowing video for all of us. By that I mean: see, listen, understand, and above all react.

I've always loved the word "stuff" but I never knew there could be such a story behind it! I loved this video and loved it even more when it said "Iraq" and laughed at "Bush"'s name when it came up. Knowing this story is part of "know the whole story" and knowing the truth about wars, poverty, ignorance and how the world is taking steps towards the abbey.

Just like the missing pieces in the "incomplete diagram" you originally saw, each of the person of the people you saw has a story. It's a global issue and your job is at least help to spread awareness to make this planet a better place.

If you're into websites and want to know everything about it then please check the official website of The Story of Stuff

If you're more into blogs then click here

That's all for now
and I wish I can Host a Screening

Names Are Nothing But Words

2009-04-25T10:22:00.005+04:00

"Our names,
How tiring it was for our parents
to find our names?
How long they thought of us?
Names are words
What's with words?
Our eyes are our own names"

That what a Lebanese lyric says

What these words called "names" have to with our own lives. There are a lot of personality analysis which are based on names, letters and number of letters but I never really cared. I am against stereotyping and it's just silly to suggest another way of to stereotype people, and according to what? According to their names? Whether John or Salim, Jane or Salima, why do we categorize people according to their names?

Isn't it funny that some other than you decide to pick a name for you to be called for the rest of your life and on the other hand it is used by someone else other than you and still that name define you? I've always thought at certain age people should have the right to decide which name they should be called.

When I was in elementary school, one of my best friends was Osama*. He had health problems and used to be very tiny compared to other boys in our class. He used to be in my team in whatever game we used to play, even when we played "bet beyot" (a game we used to play that imitate real life, where kids pretend they are family, neighbors and friends) he used to be my son or my brother. Osama's family decided to leave Iraq during 1995 and that's when I discovered he was Palestinian. The class missed Osama and I remember when a boy was teasing any of the girls we would remind him how Osama was friendly with us. We used to write collective letters to him but they were never sent, for he left and we were never able to trace him. I liked the name Osama but lately people carrying this name are being discriminated.

It's such a shame when certain names carry the bad images of the figures who once carried them, and it's even worse when other people who have nothing to do with what this name carries are being treated accordingly.

Juliet:

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name

Speaking of names couple of days back, a friend told me about the name Osayd, which is a miniature of Asaid (cub & lion) and was joking if the kid can change his name once he's 18 into Asaid, since he'll be fully grown. It was a nice joke but later after a couple of hours it hit me! I'm supposed to be a grown up but my name is holding me back!

I referred earlier what was my real name and to sum up the story it means a baby gazelle that still can hardly stand, let alone walk. My mother wanted to call me Reem which means a fully grown up fast gazelle. I never wanted to be Reem but the idea of me running fast like a gazelle and free in the wild where beautiful nature exists is very exciting to me now.

Juliet:

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.
What if I had another name? What would you call me?

*Osama is a name for lion too.

That's all for now

Snack of the Day

2009-04-23T20:25:00.001+04:00

Or the evening...

That's all for now
oh.. and bon appetite

Sweet Riot

2009-04-22T13:59:00.004+04:00

Something sweet just happened. I was praying and heard knocking on my wind. What! Knocking on the window! on the 13th floor! Even if it was the door, I keep on praying. A second later another knocking is heard! It was irregular this time, not like human's knock knock. I'm still praying.

Then there was sort of riot outside the window. One of the sweetest riot… pigeons'. The moment I finished praying they started their Hadeel, which is pigeons' songs. I didn't want to move the curtain fearing that might scare them; I made a small opening and kept looking at them. What a wonderful scene! I'm not sure how many of them there were in at the window but I saw three and one was flying and not settled where to stand. The moment I tried to steal a better look one of them started staring at me! Afterwards the all turned their bodies to face my window!

I love pigeons

That's all for now
Enjoy these photos

Tell Me Why

2009-04-18T00:20:00.002+04:00

That's all for now
But...
Let's all think of an answer.

Untitled

2009-04-08T22:53:00.004+04:00

على أرض تبدو قاحله
تحت سماء زرقاء
تقف ... تتأمل ...
أغصانها محملة
باحزان صفراء
وهذا الخريف لم يأخذها معه.

فلا تزال ها هنا
كما كانت امس
عنيدة ... تنتظر ...
قد يأتي الشتاء
قد ينزل المطر
ليغسل عنها ما لم يسقط من ورق.

غد جديد
طير يغرد
تصحو ... تبتسم
الاغصان ذاتها
مثقلة بعناء
لكن الامل يلوح في الافق.

Increased Training Realisim!

2009-04-05T19:55:00.003+04:00

"The cards will identify several rare archaeological sites and artifacts reminding troops that these areas are not only a part of Iraqi and Afghan cultural history, but also their own. "

Never heard of that before!

That's all for now...
Let's hope we won't end up playing cards.. in the wrong hands

That's Life

2009-04-03T02:20:00.006+04:00

It's almost 3 AM and I'm still up. Nothing serious, it's just that my brother-in-law came from Amman and he doesn't have a key, so I'll wait to open the door for him. Since I'm here let me share this, just got it from Hana Banana by email.

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,

Who never did,

Who won't anymore...

And who always will...

So, don't worry about people from your past,

there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future..

---------------------
That's all for now
oh wait a minute

*N calls, dad is up and opens the door, atta off to bed*

oh oh and my sister sent me a beautiful purple gift. Thanks sis.. oh oh and there's a big secret that I can hardly keep. I soooo wanna share :D

another oh oh .. N got me 7ab '9iffa :D that's edible seeds a Palestinian kind :D

That's all for now,
seriously :)

Cute Friends

2009-03-30T00:03:00.001+04:00

How cute is that!

That's all for now
Maybe we'll learn something!

Za2ir al Layl

2009-03-27T16:04:00.004+04:00

He has the guts to show up again! After all these years, after all the explanation I gave to myself for his existence in this world, after doing my best to forget his name, he's here! And for the second time this week!

Standing there with his straight emotionless face, at my door, same face I used to see and swear to everyone that he's smiling at me. Oh God, I forgot how much I hate him now. But his presence brings back bunch of memories, sweet and bitter, that I do treasure.

I don't remember how we first met but I'm sure it was in my grandma's house when I was very young, maybe 5 years old or even younger. I never liked him and my grandma used to tell me "Just ignore him. Forget he's there"

All mischief happens when he's around. I remember once I was very annoyed for his presence and I decided to raise the broom to scare him and since the broom stick was taller than me, as well as my young sister, it fell on her head and she was taken to the ER and she came home with couple of stitches in her head. She always blames ME for that and not him! Not even once!

And there he is standing as high as the door, pretending he's cool. But I swear I saw him breathing fast and could count his heartbeats. I was told once that he senses other's heartbeats and knows if people are intimidated by him. So whenever I see him
I do my best not to show my pulse has reached over 150 bpm.

After all these years, I forgot how much I hate him. I remember when I was a teenager; he "accidentally" came in to family bathroom when I was there. I kept screaming and shouting at him. And later thanked God that my bathroom was fixed ASAP so I won't have to go to the family bathroom and remember this embarrassing experience.

Today, standing in the flesh, facing me with his ever known rudeness, in no doubt of the feelings I had for him, and certain that today I despise him more than ever and hated the sound of his name, staring at me without a blink. I gaze at him telling myself "I'm strong enough to face him. He's nothing. I'll survive this moment and will brag about it later" which I'm not sure of right now.

I decided to act like him. He stares, I stare back. He says nothing, I say nothing too. He pretends to ignore me. I pretend to ignore him too. He stands there silently; I'm silent still… until I came to my senses and remembered I'm all by myself and the last thing on earth I would want is to be with him in the same room with no one else around. All my fears for this moment were what if he steps in?

I was working on a piece of art, using a trimmer and wooden tools, my hand grabbed the nearest scalpel. Yes, I used scalpels and I have many sizes. Holding the scalpel in my hands, raised it to make sure he'll notice it I said with a firm voice "addamorrak, agga6i3ak, ashari7ak… etha tfakir tidkhul" (I'll destroy you, cut you into pieces, and dissect you… if you think of coming in).

To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if he understood a word but I'm sure these words were enough to alarm him and that's how he decided to wait until I was not looking at him so he can escape from the opening between the ceiling and the door and save face. Lizards!

After I graduated from the 4th grade, during the summer when I had a very long curly hair, I used to tie my pony tail really high so the hair won't touch my neck. I was playing at our neighbors' garden with my sister and their two daughters. Their two young men cousins where staying with them so they were in the garden to witness the scene. The girls and I were playing with dolls and I felt my hair was on my arm. It ticked me so I pulled my hair to the other side. Something was still there and that's when I started shouting and running, followed by the girls, all hurrying towards my house and some other kids from the street started running with us.

I went in to my mom, crying and telling her: "I looked at him while he was standing on my arm… I moved my arm… he looked at me... He ran towards my hand… then looked left and right as if he's crossing a street and then went to the finger in the middle and jumped to the porch". He was very tiny that you may see his guts through his pink skin. That summer I was no longer the girl with the long hair.

In the year 2000, I moved to bigger room which had a bigger window the only door to the backyard garden that was known as Attawie's garden. I was very excited about having a bigger room and a garden for myself. I kept dreaming about making it something like "7adeeqat Ommi" (my mother's garden) the one I used to see in Sandy Bell cartoon. All my dreams went in vain with the first visit paid by a huge gigantic lizard. The door was locked ever since and was covered from all sides with sponge and wood.

My mother is a real Lizard-buster. Even neighbors used to call her to help them with such situation. She has a broom stick that she used only for the purpose of killing this creature, in addition to a sort of pest control gun with a formula called "nogoss" (if that's the right spelling). He was able to hi that huge lizard but it wasn't enough to kill him. But he disappeared. After about a month he appeared in my sister's room with two tails! He started to appear several times here and there and no one could catch him. We started calling him "abu thailain" (the one with two tails)

Then he paid me another visit and disappeared. I saw him leave the room but nobody outside the room saw him coming out. After a while a small lizard was about to enter my room and disappeared! I thought there must be a reason why lizards disappear next to my door. That's when I discovered that there was a missing piece of wood on the top of my door where lizard can get inside the door itself. We covered the place of the missing piece with a sticking tape as well as the whole of the lock. I left the door open for days until I could touch the handle. Eventually I forgot about it.
The next summer, I heard scratching sound and a weird screaming sound but not of a human. Then a wounded average-sized lizard came out followed by "abu thailain"! I left the room and things were taken care of by my mother and I don't even want to know the rest of the story.

That's all for now
And I hope I won't see a lizard again

Trab Attawie

2009-03-25T00:38:00.007+04:00

So, life goes on and we move on...

My sister and I were chatting the other day and she asked for the recipe of the banana sweet. She said A is keeping one of our dishes and refuses to give it back unless he's compensated with another dish of this sweet.

It seems before I leave Jordan, four years back, (FOUR YEARS ALREADY!!!) anyways, it seems that I made him this sort of sweets and he's been asking my sister to make it or at least teach him how to make it. I told my sister everything step by step and then told her to put extra biscuits until it feels like there's sand in the mouth and that's how the name was given to this sort of sweets. Trab al milook (king's sand).

The recipe requires the sort of white cream that was an Iraqi brand, Qish6at Canoon. another ingredient was Biscuit Mary, also found in Iraq only. I told her what to do and what substitutes that can she use in Amman. Then I was inspired to prepare it myself.

Lazy me, didn't want to change and go downstairs for shopping, I put ready made cream whip. Since it was to creamy I add Cerelac to thicken it. Yep guilty, I still eat Cerelac :D

And since I'm too lazy to write right now, enjoy these photos to know the rest.

White cream

Crushed biscuits

Mashed bananas

Mix

Add Walnuts and almond

Spread on a dish and cover it with crushed biscuits

Enjoy

It was very delicious but still not the trab al milook I used to prepare in Iraq. It was sort of trab al milook minus Biscuit Mary and Qish6at kanoon.. that's how I came up with the name Trab Attawie

That's all for now
and taste Trab al Milook in Baghdad

On a Day Like Today

2009-03-20T22:50:00.002+04:00

After years of living in the sense of lost, after years of trying to maintain the needed hope, after saying all the prayers needed to preserve wisdom, after all years of avoiding insanity, after all the years of being in denial and convincing myself of Holding on, I come to realize that years would never stop passing by and this day of the year would no doubt come and I have to face it.

I'm away from beloved Baghdad. I'm away from family and friends. I'm away from the land I was born on; away of the soil I took my first step on, away from the house I was raised in, away from my neighbors, I'm away … but… not mind and soul.
War, chaos, loss of uncountable people and things, unemployment, corrupted system, mysteries, sadness, chain of mischief, lost dreams, burnt houses, smell of death, widows, orphans, tears, sad stories, cruel memories… That's all what we are left with?

Promises are never kept. Lies are said for free. History is writing while people are looking away. I don't want to write another poem. It's just the same haunting story. Politicians are merely but a joke. People are treated like sheep. An observer is watching like a jerk.

I don't want to sound devastated. I don't want to show despair. I just want to tell you the picture is not pleasant, And it needs a lot of repair. What's going on right now is unfair.

I lost my focus and lost my words. I'm not sure if it makes sense. But that's all you're going to get on a Day Like Today. Life is frozen… the clock is broken. The prayers you're saying are not answered today.

It may read like a poem. It may seem like an epitaph but it's nothing but a stirring thought; A rage that has been calm; Waiting for the right time: to take an action and answer the call of the Palm.

Oh Iraq, returning has become the dream that makes my day. Your memory is the sweetness in this bitter life. You are the sound of laughter, background music for this noisy life, the kiss on a mother's forehead, the grip of an infant fist.

That's all for now.

A Picnic on the Beach

2009-03-09T20:16:00.004+04:00

Palm Trees on Sharjah Beach, on a windy day as it seems.

Nature's Peom

Sea Foam

Absurdity

The Poor Starfish That I found dried on the beach.

That's all for now

No Bells!

2009-03-07T19:56:00.004+04:00

Apart from the weird cough, and the cough syrup I'm taking every six hours that makes me shake my entire body like a dog that just came out of water, I can say I'm relatively fine. But I'm warning you. You need a muzzle to read the entire post.

The birthday girl couldn't sleep last night because of the cough. Therefore, spend the day in bed aching from the numerous injuries she received yesterday in the park. The badminton champion ship was called off because of the terrible wind. We enjoyed football and cycling instead – which explains the additional pain I'm feeling. One of the girls and I got the double driver with two extra seats and we took the kids for a ride. It was fun. The bell was not working so we had to scream at people "no bells" or at times "Aaaaaa". Hills were really fun.

It was like a joke to all of us in that huge bicycle. I didn't plan for it but the steering wheel as well as the brakes where under my control. With each turn and crossroad, or downhill everyone was screaming in happiness and the wind was giving them a refreshing sense. Two weeks back we saw four guys flipping the carriage over their heads. We laughed as they laughed at themselves. One the other hand, me w the three kids and the friend next to me, no bells, heavy wind, and the crowded park; it WAS a huge responsibility.

At times my sister would drive in front of us and ring the bell to make people avoid us. But that wasn't the case at most of the time. The kids asked me to go to the fountain and we went and enjoyed water drizzle on our faces. Then they kept urging me "sara3a.. sara3a" (i.e sur3a = faster faster). I gave them that joy but we ended up in a downhill garden. They kept laughing while I managed hard to get us back to the aisle.

Later we ad chocolate cake as well as English cake after the delicious kebab, chicken and don't know how many kinds of salads. I didn't help in BBQ but I helped in keeping the kids busy and chitchatting next to the BBQ area.

***

Absolutely, there would be time in my journey where I'll be in a trouble where I'll need to take a breath, look at the scene and try my best to get out and I will be able to find my way of it all by myself. Other times I may need to ask a friend to "ring the bell" for me, it's alright to ask for help. Life is like this but we need to have faith.

A couple of hours back I blew my candle. Yep, one musical funny candle. This year, I'm keeping my wishes, hopes and dreams to myself : ) I feel I'm older this year and a lot wiser and taking things more serious. I'm thankful to God, I'm thankful for all blesses in my life. And thank you for being a friend in my journey.

That's all for now…

And hopefully, there would be more

I am Sorry!

2009-03-06T03:10:00.002+04:00

You name it.

2009-03-06T02:50:00.002+04:00

Oh… it feels like ages since I posted something.

The flu, cold or whatever you call it, started as a runny funny nose. On day two it accompanied fever. Day three developed a throat pain for the early morning, stuffy nose during the afternoon and then was crowned with a silly cough. Next day that silly cough became seriously not silly with a snoring sound at the end.

Doesn't it seem boring?

Today I decided to take my sister to the sport equipment shop in the neighborhood. I told her it's across the main road, to encourage her. After her nap she woke up unlike herself, I mean not grumpy. Or maybe she would be like that only when I keep bugging her to wake up.

Put my jacket and took my purse and we closed the door behind.

When walking, I tend to have big fast steps. No turning left or right unless I'm crossing roads. Straight-faced me with no smiles and my head lifted a bit high but keeping my eyes where I'm stepping. My eyes move quickly to scan ahead, ground, slightly left and right. I forgot all about my sister's problem with her legs and kept telling her "hurry up".

This made me feel guilty most of the way back and forth when it hit me she just can't.

Before we reach the store, I told her pretend we're not interested and that we were just looking. I wear this indifferent face whenever I'm buying a thing. We found what we were searching for. "featherballs" and their rackets. The ones we got, has been giving us hard time due to the cheap price. Checked almost everything in the store and then we got what we wanted and walked home again.

I love this game. I've been playing it since I was second grade, I think. During the war we used to have daily tournaments. This sport was everything to me at certain age. I would play it at school, in the club, in our garden, at the neighbors' garden, in the street and everywhere I could carry it. I felt I was superior! My serve was really remarkable and I used to give names to each one, just like the baseball animation we used to watch.

My sister and I were grade 3 again!

We played for more than an hour, in our room! Each one of us was sitting on her bed, with her racket in her hand and we played Reeesha ("feather" as we call it in Arabic.)

Tomorrow morning, with other three families, along with my weird cough, we're going to Za3beel Park. I think it's the hugest park in the UAE. Kids will be there and three birthdays in this month will be celebrated with a big chocolate cake tomorrow.

That's all for now… and

I'll update you who'll win the tournament.

Coloured Balls of Wool

2009-03-02T14:40:00.000+04:00

Bloggers' Meeting... Yet another Chapter

2009-03-01T17:19:00.002+04:00

OMG I deleted something and it turned out it's Amman's diary. There were two copies so I decided to delete the other and it turned out that was a different folder but the same name! Thanks God I've got this post as drafts.

I keep digging in my Recycle Bin hopping that I can retrieve the folder but no use.

Chapter No.7
Meeting Melanterys

When I first arrived to Amman, I was staying with my mother's cousin. They had ADSL and I thought I was blessed to have such a fast internet. But I just reached Amman and I had a lot of things to do and many people to see so I didn't have enough time to be online or post. Nevertheless, I used to check my e-mail or skype for a very short while before sleeping. And that's how I started to receive e-mails from Mel. She asked me about the weather and what to wear. After about a week of e-mailing each others I moved to the new flat where there was no landline i.e. no internet.
I never chatted with Mel nor e-mailed her before. But I read her posts and every now and then and I would leave her a comment. At the same time she used to leave me some comments and we used to communicate in Anarki's, the Kid's or Morbido's blogs.

When Mel reached Amman, I was busy with my sister's wedding. I had plans to invite Mel so she would see an Iraqi wedding but there was a misunderstanding, I thought she was arriving midnight Aug.15 and turned out she was arriving the night before. A stupid mistake. And when I found out that she has arrived I thought it was too late and my grandma kept scolding me for not inviting her. Anyway, after the wedding Anarki called and said there's the gang is planning another meeting. So I set the time and place and we all met again in al Hussain Park.

.................................................

The rest of the diary has vanished and I'm glad I posted the previous chapters. At least they are retrievable. But I'm very sorry about the rest, especially the next chapter which was titled as "Two Archeologist Women". But you can read about it on Melantrys' blog.

I have a flu and I'll keep lamenting about the folder so

That's all for now
And... I'm sniffing some more

Hide and Seek

2009-02-23T20:02:00.000+04:00

All violence consists in some people forcing others, under threat of suffering or death, to do what they do not want to do.
Leo Tolstoy
(1828-1910)

JUST FOR YOUR INFO
WATCH THIS!
That's what's going on in Jursalem

He that gives good advice builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example builds with both.
Francis Bacon
(1561-1626)

So who's working against truce now?

There would be no agreement until a captured soldier is freed.

That's all for now..
Let's pray for peace

Meeting "Who Was There"

2009-02-20T10:16:00.001+04:00

Chapter No.6
Meeting "Who Was There"

I've always been reading Iraqi blogs but never had the time to be a regular reader to most of them. On the other hand, my mother reads several blogs she likes and used to read almost daily. And that's how I heard about "I Was There". As my mother used to e-mail some bloggers she found out that she knew "I was there" and that he was her cousin's friend. While "the gang"=anarki, the kid, Morbido, Bassam, 24 and I in addition to my sister and cousin, were sitting in a café we were joined by Mr. I Was There and his family. At that moment I remembered what my mom told me about him and I told him about it and that this girl, my cousin, is his friend's daughter. He recalled a lot of memories about him and my relative and kept telling us stories.
He introduced us to his wife and three daughters. Just like any other Iraqi family, they were struggling to find a place to stay, schools for the girls and most important jobs.

After about a couple of hours talking and getting to know one another better and better, time flied really fast and I had to leave and go home.

Amman Diary - the Picnic

2009-02-19T02:11:00.004+04:00

Chapter No5
The Park Meeting/picnic

After several meetings in malls and cafés, we decided that we need a better place to meet where there's no hookah smoke nor loud songs with the crowd. So, Bassam and I had the same idea about going to a park and enjoy our time there.

We set the time and place and went to the park. Iraqis going to a park means a picnic. Iraqi picnic means rice, dolma and many other kinds of food to be taken in pots. I suggested that we don't need this kind of picnic and let's have only chips, cake and drinks. The guys were supposed to take care of the drinks, which ended up as Anarki's job. And the girls, Morbido, Micho and I to take care of the other things.

Morbido and I thought of taking a mat to sit on, but both of us were just visitors in this country and we didn't have any.

Unfortunately the kid couldn't make it to the picnic. He caught cold.

Micho, Morbido and their mom, my sister, I and our grandma met at the gat with Anarki and his Friend (after a year I discovered that he was a blogger too!). 24 Steps to Liberty and Bassam were there too. Zeyad came and said that Nabil was not coming, but knowing my guitar was there he joined us later.

After we all were there, except for the Kid, we found a park couch for Grandma and Morbido’s mom and placed our simple snacks. We couldn’t find good grass to sit on. So we sat on the sidewalk. Anarki started the concert by tuning the guitar. I can’t remember if it was him or Nabil who cut the first string but Nabil had the honor of cutting the second. I can’t remember well because it was funny and hilarious. Such a thing would usually drives me crazy but I didn’t mind it for the fun we had worth not only 2 guitar strings but the whole guitar.

We sang and laughed till it was dark. And that’s when we decided to visit the Royal Cars Exhibit. It wasn’t easy to find it. We had to go up the hill and it was getting darker and darker and we took a shortcut through the Chinese Garden, which by the way was Rocky place rather than a garden. We took some photos there, or should I say crazy photos. And then we arrived.

The gate was locked. We could see the mini cars through the glass but nobody was there. We waited for a while but it was obvious there was no one there. There was an antique airplane outside. We took some photos there too. The feet photo and some more. And after hitting the road we found a big sign with the phrase “The Museum us closed on Tuesday”! The guys took the chance for another round of photos. That was the final laugh for the evening.

That's all for now
And... Wait for more

Amman's Diary - Iraqi Bloggers' Meeting

2009-02-13T19:58:00.001+04:00

Chapter No.4
Meeting Bassam, 24 steps to liberty & Nabil

A couple of days passed after the previous meeting and Anarki smsed me telling me that Bassam (Treasure of Baghdad) & 24 Steps to Liberty had e-mailed us all and want to join the gang. I didn't know about the e-mail myself because as usual I didn't have access to the internet. On the other hand Morbido has received it and updated me about it later.

This time the guys picked a well-known café for our meeting. Morbido, Micho, my sister and I arrived there behind schedule about 20 minutes. But the Kid and Zeyad were not there yet! I've met Anarki, the Kid, Hala and Zeyad earlier but I never worried about the person I'm meeting. I was exited to do so. But this time when we got out of the taxi I told Morbido "I’m wondering if this meeting is going to be successful as the previous ones." She said that she had no worries. Then I remembered she met Treasure earlier. At that moment, Anarki was waiting for us at the gate of the café and he led us to our table. After introducing themselves and ourselves everything thing went fine. As we started to talk I felt relieved. I didn't know why but I guess it's just because their blogs are more like political than personal and I've always hated to talk politics.

Both guys' faces looked familiar and it was easy to talk to them. We talked about everything that came to our minds just like old friends catching up.

Later, a nice shy guy joined us. He was introduced as Zeyad's brother. He was so calm and mute but later I discovered that he was Nabil! He was the youngest of us all. What a polite nice guy.

Being away from Iraq I gained the skill of recognizing Iraqi faces among hundreds. Each time I met one of the gang I say "I know this guy. I must have seen him before" it was true for Anarki and the kid because both of them had showed us a photo of themselves. But for 24 steps to Liberty? I don't know. I felt I knew him.
My sister was sitting next to him and told him that she must have seen him before. She felt the same. He said that his entire family looks the same. After knowing his family name, we knew why we find familiar. His aunt, a famous Iraqi painter, was and still my grandmother's friend and she used to teach Arts in our school. We met her several times and last year we went to her latest exhibition in Amman.

In our next meeting I took my cousin who came from the States. We were talking about names and I mentioned her brother's name. Bassam said that his friend's father is the same and he mentioned the friend's name. That moment I said "May he rest in peace" He stand there astonished. His friend was my late cousin!

What a small world!

Amman's Diary - Iraqi Bloggers' Meeting

2009-02-06T19:32:00.004+04:00

Chapter No.3
Meeting Hala_S and Zeyad

It was Anarki too; the one who arranged this meeting after Morbido has arrived. The Mall was also the place of this event, same reason: everybody knows how to get there. Hala escaped from Beirut after the war started and she came to Amman and decided to meet the Iraqi Bloggers. This plan worked good for all of us and we had fun meeting the whole gang.
Anarki and Hala were waiting for Morbido and me at the gate. Morbido's mom and sister, Micho, were there too. But Micho was too shy to stick with the gang. The Kid joined us later.

Talking about Iraq and our memories and how we spent war times and how we handled living there after the war. We talked about our plans for the future.
Hala was leaving the next day so there wasn't any chance to meet her again at least on this visit. I hope I can meet her again someday. She is such a nice lady, well educated and open-minded.

About an hour passed and Zeyad didn't show up. He called the guys and apologized about being late and that he was busy meeting some people too. When he joined us and said hi to all of us he turned to me and said how are you "Named a Name"? I told him I don't know whom he was talking about. He was mistaken me with someone else. He read about me from Morbido's blog. But ironically I've heard about that "Named Name" story. It seems that we run in the same circles.

Asking a guy on the next table to take some photos for us marked the ending of that meeting.
…………………………………………………..
Next day Morbido, Anarki, the kid and I, and we had fun going to the movies. We saw Pirates of the Caribbean. It was one of the best disgusting movies I've ever seen and the most hilarious. WE HAD FUN.

Resuming Amman's Diary - Iraqi Bloggers' Meeting

2009-02-03T23:53:00.005+04:00

A couple of friends of mine asked me to publish Amman diary Summer 2007 – The Iraqi Bloggers' Meetings – which I wrote in Amman when I had no access to internet and wasn't able to post. Another friend asked me recently to post them too. What I remember, I was seeking the approval of each person included in the diary. Everyone said go ahead and they had no problem. Anarki was the first and I did publish about our meeting.

But I can't remember if the Kid replied or refused (I think he said no). But since more than a year later he posted something related to meeting me and other female Iraqi bloggers without seeking permission, I think he wouldn't mind it. It's old news anyways. Plus I'm not sure if the Kid exists anymore. He's Abbas Hawazin now.
-----------------------------------------------------

Chapter No. 2
Meeting The Kid

After The Kid reached Amman he contacted Anarki who called me just a couple of days after our first meeting and we arranged another meeting. My sister was of course there to escort me.

We agreed that the mall was easy to reach by all of us. I got a call from the Kid as I reached the mall that they were waiting for me. I saw Anarki accompanied with two other guys. One of them was supposed to be the Kid. I looked at both of them trying to figure out which one of them is The Guy. One of them was busy with his mobile, both were in black though one of the shirts was with a band or a game logo, can't remember. Anyway, this guy pointed at the other telling me "He's the Kid" then the Kid introduced himself and pointed at the friend and said "He came by mistake" with a laugh.

I introduced them to my sister and then we started to search for a café or someplace to sit but the mall was hectic and crowded.

The first thing I noticed about The Kid was his eyes. They looked mysterious. After few minutes I could tell his eyes revealed curiosity. Then I remembered the tragic story how he lost his four friends in an explosion and I thought it was that sadness.

After roaming the mall, none of us was hungry or needed a drink, but my sister and the kid stopped for an ice cream cup. Nothing interesting happened except for the regular chitchat between friends as if we knew one another long time ago. After a couple of hours, it was getting late; my sister and I decided to go home. The guys agreed and wanted to leave too. As we approached the exit gate, the kid and his friend disappeared. Anarki was still with us. We waited for a while but they never showed up. So we left without saying goodbye. That wasn't a nice impression for a first meeting but I guess it was easy to forgive the Kid.

Anarki, my sister and I decided to cross the main road to find a taxi. We ended up walking for about 20 minutes or more talking, until we took a taxi. I enjoyed the walk for the pleasant personality of Anarki. He's never boring and always had something to say. Not just something, but something smart or funny or maybe both.

Oh this is supposed to be about the Kid. So, his father and my mother used to run in the same circles – career wise- and we talked a bit about it but we never really tried to sort it out. He wasn't the same blogger nor the person I knew online. Maybe because his friend was there or could it be the presence of Anarki, but it was awkward meeting him. Even though the same evening we did chat afterwards and talked about it and he told me he felt the same. We agreed that we were better online friends rather than face-to-face.
----------------------------------------------

Hopefully, I'll resume posting the rest of the diary.

That's all for now

Another Stolen Memory

2009-01-31T15:03:00.006+04:00

A photo of one of the high schools I went to

Checking news here and there, following different reporter to see how the story being told by someone else; I came across photos about Iraq. Viewing one photo after another and something caught my sight. "I know these words" I thought. I must have read it at least a thousand times. Very familiar in shape… and its meaning! It meaning was the high school I went to for three years. The school I used to hate. I considered it a black page in my history. But recalling my memory, for moments, a very short time, I look at things differently right now.

It said:

"Nidhal high school for girls"

"Founded on the year 1972"

That's the high school I hated. But what I hate now is the hideous pale colour of its paint. The silly posters hanged on the wall. The two silly signs saying: "Welcome Security Forces and Army" and "Carrying arms are forbidden inside election center".
The place seems dirty, stained walls and trash on the floor. I can't believe this is the same school I went to. The schoolmistress used to be a very firm lady. She used to reign with an iron fist and this is not an exaggeration. Mrs. Hinoof was one of the best principles in Baghdad. We never really liked her but she knew how to run the school. Throwing trash on the floor was never an option back then.

Schools are closed, no work and time is wasted. I heard the electricity is on 24/7 as a bribe for people to vote! It's all silly and a mockery play.

That's all for now

Let's wait and see.

Just Another Virtual World*

2009-01-30T19:59:00.001+04:00

It never stops bugging me how some people spend hours and hours surfing the net on useless stuff. I am not against enjoying technology or sharing information publicly but at times I'm certain that some people are just killing time, time that can be invested in a different way to make the world a better place.

Years has passed and I'm receiving invitations to create accounts on Classmates, Friendster, Hi5, MySpace, Orkut, bebo, Facebook and such social networking communities. And what bugs me the most is that the same people who invite me for certain network are inviting me for another! how do they manage to keep up with their profiles on each? How do they have time to update and check friends' account? and I complain about time!

After finding my inbox full of email invitations for Facebook from friends, relatives, colleagues and fellow-bloggers as well as people I don't even know, I decided to get myself an account and see what is it all about. Clicking the link I discovered the site was Blocked in UAE just like Urkut, Flickr and some other networks. I felt it was a relief for me. Once I'm asked about my Facebook account or sent an invitation I would simply say "it's blocked in the UAE".

Months or maybe a year passed and I hear the fuzz about Facebook. We take photos in a gallery and I hear "I'll put it on FB". We go to the park and I ask for a copy of photos and the reply is "check it tonight on FB" I need a link regarding a matter and I get the reply "Will post it on FB"!

Last Ramadan I was introduced to a girl. She was studying media in AUS and she wanted me to write her some inspirational talks to publish regarding surviving a war. Insisting that I have an influential personality she said I defiantly want to add you to the group I created on Facebook to inspire the youth. I told her I don't have an account she gave me her email and begged me to create one and add her. I wrote her email somewhere and forgot her name.

Also Last year we were visiting a family friends and while talking I discovered that their daughter is in touch with people went to my school. I asked her for their emails and she said "Add me on FB"!

I never bothered and checked what Facebook was until Hana - before she left to NZ -told me we can keep in touch through Facebook and it's a really good way to be updated. I told her I don't have an account and that I tried and it was blocked and she told me it was working now and she herself created the account for me.

Automatically I found friends and relative. and I just forgot about the account until I started to get emails notifications about lost friends and grade school colleagues who found me! It was overwhelming to find most of the people we thought we lost after all these years. Some left Iraq before we were introduced to the internet so we lost contact. Others were just busy with life and someway or another just disappeared.

Sharing photos is great but still I don't want to post my photos on the net even if there's a user control thing where I can moderate who sees these photos. And with all the hackers stories we hear... No thanks.

Anyway, that's not what I want to write about..

When I started this post I was just about to release sort of anger that didn't know how to be freed! Finding a notification that "A friend" is playing with her pet in Virtual Pet Society.. or "A friend" was sold for $5000 in Friends for Sale society.. "A Friend" reached level 28 in Mafia.. on and on I'm bugged with time being wasted in an absurd way.

I'm not in a position, nor anyone in fact, to tell people how to spend their time or where to focus their energy. One can only hope that we can invest our time to make the world a better place. But lately I've been wondering "Can we? are we supposed to do so? and how?"

People seem to be funny on virtual network societies, even when they post something devilish and evil or wage wars against each others. Death threats sounds funny! Most of them has galleries to present smiling faces, others are engaged in gardening trees and virtual flowers, exchanging gifts, cards, cupcakes and other virtual stuff. Even when they yell with CAPS on they seem funny and friendly.

Maybe by deserting real life and living a virtual one is helping people to live the way they wish to live..the style and the people associated with. They can create themselves on such networks. To share what they want to share and hide whatever they wish to hid. Their profiles represent who they want to be and that way they can control how they can be seen by others.

*I was searching on the net when I found a blog with such title. I had to say that in for copy rights :)

To All My Friends Out There

2009-01-26T15:15:00.004+04:00

There was a boy, a very hard to please. His father gave him a bag full of nails and said: "Hit a nail onto the garden's fence whenever you lose your temper or disagree with someone".

On the first day, the boy put 37 nail on the garden fence. A week passed and the boy learned how to control his temper and the number of nails added per day was declining. The boy now knows that watching his attitude and having everything under control is easier than using the hammer and hitting nails on the fence.

Gradually, the day has come and the boy told his father he never had to add a nail that day. The father asked the boy to remove a nail from the fence for each day that passes without losing his temper. Finally, the boy was able to come to his father and tell him that he removed all the nails.

The father took his son to the fence and said: "Dear son, you did great with your good behavior, but look at these holes left on the fence. The fence will never look as it was before!"

When you disagree with someone and an argument takes place, or when differences come to surface; some harsh words are said. These words leave people with deep wounds just like these nail holes you see on the fence. You can stab someone and pull out the knife from the body but you may leave a scar of a wound.

It doesn't matter how many times you said you're sorry because that wound still exist. Injuries of harsh words are more painful than physical injuries.

Friends are rare jewels, they are there to cheer you up and be there for you whenever you need them. They are always there to listen whenever you feel to open up. Therefore, show them what you feel for them.

That's all for now
Thanks for being my friend

Attawie, How Did a Tank Get onto your Roof!?

2009-01-24T13:43:00.002+04:00

It's funny how we've been talking all these years and I've never mentioned this story! It all came back to me after viewing our home from Google Earth and seeing the black metal thing lay on our roof. And it hit me. Attawie, how did a tank get onto your roof!? David asked.

The war started 2003 and we were supposed to stay at home. But after two days we could take it no more and my mother's aunt called and said you'd better come now or else. Believe me her "or else" was threatening more than any bomb flying in the air. The old lady cares about us, plus, we were freaking out because the two previous nights were horrible. It felt the house was falling apart over our heads. Since our home is located close to what they call it green zoon nowadays, it was wise to leave. For certain reasons we kept going home every day.

On April 8th, we saw Iraqi tanks almost in every street in our neighborhood. An Iraqi solder asked us why we were there. He said: "Leave the area. Leave Baghdad if you can. It's a battlefield". Next time we went to our home was on April 17th. To tell you the truth, I can't remember the streets. Maybe it's bliss not to. I was praying all the way home to arrive safely and find our home still standing there.

The house was a mess. Two of our doors were broken. The neighbor blocked one of them with a chair and pushed the car to close the second. Cats and rats were playing hide and seek. Dust was everywhere. Broken glasses of shattered windows were everywhere. But thank God my room was as clean and tidy as I left it. No broken windows and the door to my garden was standing as strong as it could be. My room was the place where we slept during the later weeks.

When we were checking room after room we were shocked when we opened my sister's room. We couldn't see the carpet; instead, we saw a carpet of dust. But the weird dust looked like gray concrete dust. When we looked at the ceiling we could see the sky. That's when my father remembered his last visit to the house. When the bombing started and a strange bang shook the house and the noise was so loud that he could hardly get what was going on and had to leave in a hurry.

After a couple of hours we heard from neighbors that the other half of the tank was six houses away from us. It was an Iraqi tank that was bombed even though it was standing there in the street all abandoned.

That's how a tank ended up onto our roof
And that's all for now.

I Wanna Fly

2009-01-22T20:54:00.003+04:00

An entire week spent sick in bed! That must be a record for me in the near history. No more feeling down. No more whining. Enough is enough.

Let's refresh the page with something fun. Something I've been dreaming of since I was a child. I dreamed of flying hundreds times maybe and looking at THESE GUYS makes me long for flying even more.

Lately, I've been obsessed with GOOGLE EARTH. To stay in bed all these hours you've got to find yourself a useful way to spend your time. I flied to Baghdad and saw hour home, went to my school again, walked by the Tigris. Oh how I long to go back.

With all what's going on in Gaza, I spent time looking at the small Gaza Strip, the beach, the lands and I keep wondering how can such a huge population live in this small area! God bless them.

I flied almost everywhere, Arab countries, Europe, the Americas, historical places and beautiful lakes around the world. Such an amazing world. Forget about politics. Forget about global worming. The sea has fish to feed every hungry person on earth. The green areas, the basket of foods hanging on zillions of trees. Everything is so beautiful, so perfect, that it gives hope for years ahead.

Surprisingly, I found my self missing Jordan. I looked at Petra and how its pink soil is different from the surrounding areas.

Someday, maybe I'll live and see that day, or maybe not, but life would be much better on this planet and everything will appear as beautiful as it is and peace will be the title of this earth.

That's all for now

It Was A Tree

2009-01-14T01:24:00.003+04:00

It was a tree. A tree like any tree you may see in the street. You may see huge melancholy on its branches, as if it was carrying burden of the hundred years it ages. But its trunk proudly stands against stormy winds. A lot have been said about the tree in many different religions and cultures. Many myths and stories surrounds this tree and it's blesses.

It is said that its fruit was the first fruit Adam, peace be upon him, tasted on earth. The same tree has many names in many different cultures. It is known as Christ thorn Jujube, Siddir (or Annab in Arabic) which is recommended by Islamic Medicine. Traditional medicine also has a lot to say about it. Its leaves are used to cast off magic spells, the scientific name of Nabk Trees.

This tree is full of benefits whether its trunk, leaves, flowers or the fruit and its seeds. It is cultivated southern Asia, between Syria, northern India, and southern and central China, and possibly also southeastern Europe though more likely introduced there.

It is believed to alleviate stress, throat soothing, gum problems, ease the stomach, keep bugs and other insects out of the house and free of infestation. Even the honey that bees make from its flowers nectar is very expensive because of its benefits.
A funny thing, the sweet smell is said to make teenagers fall in love, and as a result, in the Himalaya and Karakoram regions, men take a stem of sweet-smelling jujube flowers with them or put it on their hats to attract women.

Although it's an evergreen tree but it tends to pour down its leaves during every single day of the year. How do you I know that? Because I used to sweep its leaves for fun in my grandparents' garage and at times in our garden.

Seeing the round yellowish round fruits on the ground made me forget all about my paranoia and hygiene issues and pick as much as I could carry in my both hands. Washing them with water and drying them with tissue papers there was nothing left but to taste them.

One bite and I literally could say I was charmed. Charmed with this holly fruit taste and what it represented to me. I was no longer there. All I could sense was the sweet honey taste on my tongue and the thousands thoughts, sensations and memories I never knew they existed.

Standing on a three step ladder, with grandma next to me, holding on to me to make sure I was standing safely, on the roof where the dove were roaming above our heads, and birds singing in their nests. Grandma holding on to me while I carry the bucket where we keep the fruits we collect.

Reaching my hand to a nabk fruit that a bird took a tiny bite, reluctant to pick it, I recalled grandma's answer when I used to tell her "but the bird took a bite!" she would reply "Yes dear, it took a small bite to taste it to tell us this one is sweet, take it. It's yummy so the bird left it to us"

During the 1991 war, when we were at my grandparents' house, we spent most of the clear shinny morning playing badminton. Whenever our feather shuttle flies high it get stuck in the branches of the two gigantic trees. We usually attempt to start throwing things, anything you name it, until we call our grandpa to help us. Thousands of tournaments took place under the shades of those two beloved trees.
At school, wars were raged between classes. You see the boys throwing stones and girls run to collect. Each student would throw his best shot and each girl runs as fast as she could to collect the magic fruit and split "fifty-lifty" as we used to call breakeven shares. At times Stones would pour down on student passing by to be sent to ER, nevertheless, that doesn't mean to stop hunting for this sinfully delicious fruit.

After 1992, we moved to a new home where there was one of those trees. It never stopped to amaze us how many pairs of shoes we found when it was time for trimming the tree. We would laugh and make stories about how those people had to leave barefooted.

A handful of fruits and I felt that was it. They are the same fruit. They are the same colour. They have the same smell But in Iraq this fruit was taster and therefore, I had no more.

Here is the second pick :) I know its not as seductive as cherries nor as funny as strawberries but I wouldn't trade them for any of those.

That's all for now

Let's Help Gaza

2009-01-04T08:58:00.007+04:00

What can we do for Gaza? Pray. Yes, they truly need our prayers but let's move on to the next level. We've been watching the new, talking about it, maybe more than a bit depressed, angry, yes, but that's not enough. let's proceed into action.

It's the 9th day and there's 507 people killed and 2400 injured. Last time I checked the news I saw videos of empty shelves in markets. they are suffering from shortage of food, hospitals ran out of medical supplies, no electricity, no water, and I as a result of bombing the sewage is not working and flooding in certain areas. Every single donation counts.

UNRWA is a reliable and legal organization that you can help Gaza through. See their homepage:

Stop the Killing in Gaza

The Commissioner-General of UNRWA, Karen AbuZayd, expressed her horror to the extensive destruction visited upon Gaza Strip today and her deep sadness to the terrible loss in human life. UNRWA, the United Nation’s Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees, strongly urges the Israeli Government to heed calls for ceasing its bombardment on Gaza. Israel is a signatory to international conventions that protect non-combatants in times of conflict. These conventions are worthless if they are not upheld. ...more

Donate to UNRWA Special Gaza Appeal تبرعوا لنداء الاستغاثة الخاص بغزة

1. Arab Bank PLC
UNRWA USD Current account100191-4-510
SWIFT Code: ARABPS22600
El-Rimal Branch Omar El-Mukhtar St, Gaza

2. HSBC Bank
UNRWA USD Current account 002/057511-185
Swift Code: BBMEJOAX
Amman, Jordan

Or you may choose Aramex to deliver hope to Gaza.

Aramex is organizing an emergency donation campaign, with support from Majid Al Futtaim Group in the UAE, to collect and deliver aid supplies to the afflicted people in Gaza.

Needed materials: First Aid kits, medical emergency supplies, chronic illness medication, personal hygiene products, non-perishable foods, new clothes, tents and blankets.

Please ensure the validity date is at least 6 months for food and at least 1 year for medicine.

Aramex collection bins are located at the following locations:

In the UAE*: Mall of Emirates, Deira City Centre, Sharjah City Centre, and Ajman City Centre.

In Jordan, at Aramex offices at the following locations:
- Khalil El Salem Street, Khalda - Amman
- Bader Shaker Al-Sayyab, Near Social Security Building - Amman
- Ameer Mohammad Street, Zarqa
- Malik Faisal Street, Irbid
- Royal Jordanian Building, Haya Roundabout, Aqaba
Aramex Media Bookshops in:
- Thaqafa Street, Shmeisani
- Cozmo, 7th Circle
- Marhaba, Intercontinental Hotel
- Shop & Ship, 4th circle

Act now, every donation counts.

* Donations in the UAE are accepted starting January 1st until January 11th 2009.

No more Silence

2009-01-01T23:34:00.000+04:00

It started just like any picnic that was arranged spontaneously after the phrase "we're doing nothing too" and "so let's go to the beach". But when the car moved I thought we were taking a different road so I asked I discovered that they changed the destination and we're going to the lake.

The setting is very relaxing; green grass, hundreds of palm trees, a couple of meters deck next to Khalid Lake. Usually we sit in the area before al-Nour mosque. But our relatives were waiting for 200 meters after the mosque. They are planning to leave UAE for good and thought it would be a good chance to take a voyage in the lake. Without farther waiting we took a boat and enjoyed the cold wind which seemed a glimpse of Baghdad's winter.

Two other families joined us. One joined to drink tea and leave and the other came to stay. The place was crowded as usually but there were no signs of joy. Even the children playing here and there were not loud nor seemed funny as usual. Talks varied from news on TV and crab hunting activity to 5 –years Miriam who started to pick her clothes by herself.

A police box followed by police motorcade passed by and my father said "they must be transferring criminals" and he continued his previous subject. The number of policemen kept growing in the area. Looking at the road there were still more and more police cars. I stood up and looked around and found a gathering of people next to the mosque. I thought it was a fight or something like that but after a moment I figured it out. This must be for Gaza.

The number of people started to grow and they started marching towards us. My mother suggested pulling our seats and stuff to make way for them. My sister and I hurried spontaneously and joined the march. After a couple of minutes mom and dad were next to us. Once the march passed us we returned to our place but my sister and I were not satisfied. We left our company and joined the crowd to support Gaza.

Checking "My life list to do"

2009-01-01T11:29:00.000+04:00

I'm not a big fan of New Year activities and such but I have to admit it does implement certain significance regarding checking "my life list to do".

Stuff I liked about 2008 (I can call them personal victories)(not in a specific order, well maybe just the first two):

First personal exhibition
Participated in two painting competitions and won third place in both.
Decided to take double majoring MBA and still working on my thesis
Co-organized a training program and delivered the icebreaker
First time to meet deaf and mute group of people and communicate with them
Took a class of Ice skiing
Tried water jet skiing for the first time
Had my eye fixed with Lasik surgery
Learned some new techniques and tricks in drawing
Was able to attend a play by kids for Refugee world day
Met khlalid jarrar and his mom faiza alaraji
Went to 4D theater
Forced a ball to rest in peace in its final destination, the pocket during playing billiard (naah that's nothing)
Impressed myself and others in the cooking field
Went to several international exhibitions which visited UAE
Went to Dubai Tennis Championship Final (Feliciano Lopez played beautifully and Roddick was rude. if it wasn't for his serve he wouldn't win.. oh and I have to say I had a VIP seat as a gift for my birthday from a friend but that I didn't occupy and moved to the public seats but still close enough to the American ambassador and heard Roddick when he said "there's so much crap is going on.. let's stop the game" So unprofessional to say that to your audience and the ambassador who came to see the game! oh I was supporting Lopez and did carry Spain flag)

Got rid of the 4th wisdom teeth
Found many of my old friends on facebook
Tasted crab for the first time among many other adventures in food

Ghada and nassir got married and they are waiting for a baby (I'm so happy for them and wish them the best) :D
N gave birth to her second child Totti (what a lovely child)
Obama won and Bush got what he deserved
Got 7aboob and ma7boob :D (my cell phone and laptop)

Not so cool stuff (there were much more but somehow they skip the mind :D )
Had to say goodbye to Rabab (teacher of History of Art who became a good friend of mine)
Got 3 fish: Kha'9ra, pinky and burtoqala, who eventually died
Adopted 7ashara and pet her for almost two weeks before she left this world

Can’t think of anything else right now
Sorry if i forgot something but if I remembered something i would update the post.

That's all for now
And for 2008

Happy New year everyone

Wonderful Week With My Cousins

2008-12-31T11:00:00.010+04:00

The following is a recap of my uncle's family visit (19-23/11/2008)

As much as last week was tiring, exhausting, hectic and crazy, IT WAS FUN.

My uncle's family came to visit us from Germany. His three sweet little kids are amazing. This was the fourth time for us to meet. The two boys and the sweet little girl are smart, loveable as well as naughty. Even though there are a lot of hotels in our area but my mother insisted on receiving them at our home. She wouldn't want to miss them not for an hour during their short visit.

The kids are taller and cuter now. You can't but love them. They are fluent in German and doing pretty well on understand Arabic but could do better on the speaking part (I have to admit they speak Arabic better than some Arab kids in UAE). At times they reply in German and think everybody can understand them. Thanks God I studied German for a while and I could catch a word and understand what they want but my poor sister kept telling them "in Arabic please" and they think she's joking!

Since it is very cold in German, and my uncle being a busy doctor, they hardly enjoy outdoors activities. Therefore, their visit to UAE is such a good time to do so. My mother assigned me to set a schedule for each day. I had to do phone calls and do some bookings here and there. Had to check websites and search for the best places to visit. And I was able to set, somehow, a good program for the week.

We arranged our schedule so the family would take a week off from work/schools to enjoy the reunion.

We drove to Um al-Quwain shortly after they arrived and checked in Flamingo resort to spend the night. The activities there included crab hunting, but unfortunately it was so cold and the tide was high that we couldn't catch as many crabs as we wanted. Actually only three guys from the group were able to do so. But we've seen how it goes. I stayed in the boat and enjoyed watching everything with my three little cousins.

Flamingo beach Resort

That was followed by a buffet and special crab dish for those who participated in the crab hunting. I tried it and it tasted like fish with a sweet taste.

Me introducing you to the first Crab I ever taste :)

We enjoyed jumping and playing on the green grass at night. My sister and I were 5 years old again. The place was empty and we almost had the entire resort for ourselves.

Next day was the beach day. It was too cold to swim. I enjoyed walking on the sand, collecting some shells while they tried some fishing and playing with sands. We checked out and went for sightseeing in Um al-Quwain. Then we passed by a nice place and we had to check what was it. It turned out to be another resort and we went in and took some photos. We thought we'll try boating but it was lunch break for workers there and we didn't want to waste time. Therefore, we drove back to Sharjah and enjoyed water jet skiing.

It was their first time to try jet skiing. Mine was the second. But after the long drive home and my sister being so not cool by trying some tricks gave me motion sickness and I forced her to take me ashore.

The third day was dedicated for some beach fun in Dubai but I didn't join the party. The next day was dedicated for Abu Dhabi. We went sightseeing here and there including Emirates Palace Hotel where there's an exhibition of new projects in Abu Dhabi. It was fun and I was one step away from camel back riding but everybody was scared and my uncle said that he tried it in KSA and it wasn't fun at all. Plus we were close to a donkey and a horse and the smell was horrible so I had to withdraw and leave that for another adventure.

On the schedule I dedicated a day for Sharjah's museums but things somehow that day got very messed up and we had the chance to visit only Sharjah Aquarium. Oh and we went horseback riding. This time my horse was Penny, a nice, cute white horse. This time I was very confident that I made Penny run all by myself.

Sharjah Aquarium

Two nights in a raw I told them the bedtime story "the rabbit and the turtle" (al arnab wa al sul7afat) which they two little ones pronounce it funnily as (al alnab wal sulfa7at). After jet skiing I helped their mom blowing their hair with the hairdryer. Such a hard job to keep a child to sit let alone stand still!

In Iraq, the child is not raised by his parents only; it's the job of the entire community. The extended family plays an important role, neighbors too. I believe my three little cousins have a thirst for interacting with family. I cannot help thinking of all those Iraqi kids being raised in different countries all around the world and what they have to miss about Iraq, the Iraq that we knew and spent our childhood. They enjoyed their visit and when I tease them and say "I'll keep you here and let your mom and dad go back to Germany" a certain look of eagerness shows on their faces but then they would say "No, you come and stay with us". And oh my how I wish to go and visit them in the near future.

That's all for now about me and my cousins!

Hijri New Year/ My Sisters' Blogs

2008-12-29T12:42:00.005+04:00

May this year bring

Happiness and less grief
Hope and not despair
World peace and less conflicts
Better health
Useful new technology
less death tolls because of wars, hunger and disease

Happy New Hijri Year

............
For Arabic-readers

on another note, I would like to congratulate my sisters for joining the blogsphere.
Here's my eldest sister blog "My Homelands", and here is sosa lola's blog "Words I wished I could have said", both in Arabic.

Good luck to you both :)

Pray for Gaza

2008-12-27T20:18:00.004+04:00

I was writing about how I enjoyed the previous week with my uncle's family visit and I did finish writing and was about to publish it but the weather is so gloomy for that excitement. It felt silly to be happy about it. The news about Gaza is very frustrating. Seeing the black smoke arise in the sky of Gaza reminds me of videos of Baghdad that we saw only after the war was "over".

News about Iraq are not promising at all but I still have hope. I just have to.

The flu caught me again and maybe that's what's frustrating me the most.

I feel tragic. so here's what's going on my mind.

Grandma said: bring them after schools
I wish to see the sweet little ones.
Assured her once and twice she would
But somehow promises were never kept.

Black clouds arising in the air
As bombs invades the village
Gaza was never the same
Watching news is how we spent the day

Innocent kids horrified at schools,
Mother panicking looking for the children
Father never made it home
That's how they spent their day

Lunch turning to coals on the stove
Broken china shattered on the ground
Meals never served on tables
And that's how they spent their day

That's all for now
And pray for Gaza

What's the News?

2008-12-15T00:34:00.005+04:00

Is it possible that next press conference for Bush would be behind shoe-proof glass or they would just force journalists to take off their shoes!

Why am I thinking of that? Because of this. In case you still can't believe it! Here it is.

That's all for now but i'm sure there's gonna be much much more somewhere else.

Sort of Cheese Cake .. Still!

2008-12-12T14:02:00.002+04:00

Just wanted to share this sort of cheese cake.

After many failed attempts, this is what mom and I came up with.

Actually this is supposed to be the German cheese cake, which is said to have yogurt! so it's technically yogurt cake. and it is baked in the oven and not left in the in refrigerator to cool.

after following the German recipe I suggested adding jello, according to a friend's advice for cheese cake. since we were adding strawberries so it made sense to add strawberry jello :) and this is the outcome!

It's not cheese cake still, but it was yummy that I could hardly save these tow pieces to take a photo.