She Knew Me
As long as she thought when her end comes she would be surrounded by sons, daughters and many grandchildren. But here she lies alone in bed with no one but her dog. The poor dog couldn't tolerate loneliness and made his way to follow her.
I lied beside her as if I'm waiting for her to make me room. First of all I wanted to enjoy the warmth that has been left in her palm.
I didn't utter a word. I knew she can hear anything I say now without telling her. Now I can tell her everything that I couldn't say.
"Sweetheart, you are my first love. There never been anyone before you."
She sleeps still because she knew that long ago, before I even feel it. Her smile is still on her lips.
"Darling, you are my only love, there never been someone but you."
She is still mute.
The eyes are still the same, although they are permanently shut now.
"My love, I didn't leave you for someone else…I just couldn’t bare to live with you and feel that I'm not supplying you with what you need…so…I ran away with shame, pretending I love someone else, to make you hate me…so your pain would be lesser that mine."
She didn't say anything. Just as usual, she still has that smile on her face. The smile that reveals so much confidence…telling me:
"Shut up stupid. Why do you think I lay here alone without a son, daughter, or even a grandchild?"
She knew I would come back… She knew I did not leave her for a new love. She knew me as usual. I would turn to her no matter what…but… Silly me…I found out too late.
April 20th 2005
Old Me is dead. But…New Me will make use of Old Me's mistakes.
April 21st 2005
I lied beside her as if I'm waiting for her to make me room. First of all I wanted to enjoy the warmth that has been left in her palm.
I didn't utter a word. I knew she can hear anything I say now without telling her. Now I can tell her everything that I couldn't say.
"Sweetheart, you are my first love. There never been anyone before you."
She sleeps still because she knew that long ago, before I even feel it. Her smile is still on her lips.
"Darling, you are my only love, there never been someone but you."
She is still mute.
The eyes are still the same, although they are permanently shut now.
"My love, I didn't leave you for someone else…I just couldn’t bare to live with you and feel that I'm not supplying you with what you need…so…I ran away with shame, pretending I love someone else, to make you hate me…so your pain would be lesser that mine."
She didn't say anything. Just as usual, she still has that smile on her face. The smile that reveals so much confidence…telling me:
"Shut up stupid. Why do you think I lay here alone without a son, daughter, or even a grandchild?"
She knew I would come back… She knew I did not leave her for a new love. She knew me as usual. I would turn to her no matter what…but… Silly me…I found out too late.
April 20th 2005
Old Me is dead. But…New Me will make use of Old Me's mistakes.
April 21st 2005
posted by attawie at Wednesday, November 23, 2005
5 Comments:
Hmmm. Nice read.
Am glad you liked what I wrote! :)
welcome here Blue athena. I liked what you wrote and I'm glad you like this one.
She didn't say a word to him, her eyes were shut, and there was a smile on her face. She's dead !!
He left her although he loves her, and he knew that he would come back to her one day and that she would welcome him cuz she knew him very well and knew how to read all his thoughts and... But he realized that late, and when he came back.. it was also too late!
It took me several readings to get with this analysis!! I first thought that the dog was telling the story!!!
That's a nice one, girl. Keep on writing, I bet many people read what you are writing even if they don't comment!
Haneen.. YOU KNOW ME...
that's what I'm talking about. she knew he would come back.. she knew everything about him. but silly him.. it was to late.
"She thougth when her end will come" is the key to know she has died.. she was mute, silent and her eyes are permenantly closed. she didn't reply to any of his words.
Don't give up .. I know it takes few reading to understand my work. most of them need psychological analysis.
by the way.. if there is anyone who reads my blog I'd like to read your comments to improve my writing.
Well, when I first read "She thougth when her end will come", I thought of her as she's at the end of her life, but not dead yet. She was lying in her bed and the dog was beside her. She was probably thinking of him and why he didn't come back to her. But he came back late cuz she was already dead.
Hey, you said that you would write an explination! Where is it ???
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