Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Sleepless on Earth

I've been spending my nights up. I think too much that I cannot sleep. My mind is preoccupied with the application to graduate studies. I did as best as I can throughout the past years just to be able get the M.A. I studied hard at high school and college just to reach to this day. I need to get the degree badly. I had always considered my B.A. as a small achievement even though I scored high grades but to give me a motivation to get a higher degree.

I'm spending my nights thinking if my application will be approved or not. I sometimes say I should have applied to other universities and then I remember how hard it was to apply. First of all, the certificate about the two years I studied in Baghdad was hard to get. Then secondly, the other two years in Jordan added to it the stamps and all the embassies that must certify the papers. Oh and another thing, I do not have a MasterCard to pay on line so I had to sent a cheque by order and everything by DHL.

I might sound lazy but it was really hard for me and my family to collect all the needed papers to send before the deadline. Then, I couldn't sleep wondering if I'll ever be able to send it on time. Now I'm thinking if I would be accepted.

I read my portfolio of 25 pages of poems and short stories I sent and my letter of intent (which I'll post soon). I read them over and over again and kept thinking if they were alright.

Sleepless nights are the best for writing poems. I sometime neglect the thoughts and try to sleep and say tomorrow I'll write them down. Tomorrow comes and I have no idea about what I wanted to write. Last month I went to a store to buy a notebook so I would write before I sleep or when I am trying to sleep. And it worked. I wrote many things ever since.

The worst thing during these sleepless nights is when all the brilliant ideas come and once you switch on the light it means staying up more hours. Plus, I hate it when I wake up late next morning.

8 Comments:

Blogger Jeffrey said...

Attawie,

People whose minds open up at night are called in English, as you probably know, "night owls." I think night-owl-ism is perhaps genetic because it runs in my family. Back in college, I can remember living in a house with one of my sisters and the two of us casually chatting over the kitchen table ... at FOUR IN THE MORNING.

Heh heh.

Oh yeah, I clipped a bit from your "Sleepless on Earth" post over at IBC.

*


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3/15/2006 12:07 AM  
Blogger attawie said...

Jeffrey,
Welcome to my blog.

I’m not certain if I was a real “night owls” or a fake one.

I used to sleep early. Even before I graduate I used to have an early bedtime compared to my friends (10:30). But it takes me a couple of hours to sleep. I remember when my sister and I used to share the same room, I used to go to bed at 10 and she would come to her bed at 12, she falls asleep before me. So unfair.

I checked the IBC yesterday and I noticed that. Thank you.

3/15/2006 10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@hard at high school and 'college'.

- May I ask which school you went to in Baghdad to get your ‘college degree’ before applying for Uni!

3/15/2006 12:30 PM  
Blogger attawie said...

Hi anonymous..

you can find the information you'd like to know in this link..

http://attawie.blogspot.com/2005/10/info.html

thanks

3/18/2006 2:58 PM  
Blogger Morbid Smile said...

Hey girl,

Don't worry, the sleepless nights will be over as soon as you get the application's result! I have been through the same thing for months when I started to apply for the Fulbright.. That's one of the reasons I became addicted to the internet! I used to stay online untill dawn every night!! I was called "Bat" at that time :)

Everything will be alright soon inshallah. You'll be accepted at UOT and we'll meet at the borders ;)

3/18/2006 7:38 PM  
Blogger aNarki-13 said...

fingers crossed.

pick up a pen and paper and go at it...

good luck Attawie!

3/19/2006 10:49 PM  
Blogger Morbid Smile said...

Hellooooo.. We demand a new post here!! I've been waiting for days :)

3/21/2006 4:02 AM  
Blogger attawie said...

M.S, Bat, and H Morning.. many huh.. whatever.. I'll post one soon.

anarki 13, thank you.
I'm writing most of the time and even I wrote three poems to Baghdad in Arabic. I wrote a letter to Baghdad using English language and then felt guilty. So, I wrote another letter in Arabic.

3/21/2006 10:50 AM  

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