Waiting for the Fatal Answer
Evaporated rivers of hope
Waterfalls of despair
Smothered screams
Struggling in my throat
Shivering feverish body
Beneath, snatched heartbeats
With my eyes opened wide
Behind streams of tears
A void back in my head
Side by side with pain
My suffocated words
Couldn't make the effort
To explain the feelings
I undergo
I suffer
In this moment that last forever
Waiting for the Fatal Answer
April 2, 2006 12:45 am
Waterfalls of despair
Smothered screams
Struggling in my throat
Shivering feverish body
Beneath, snatched heartbeats
With my eyes opened wide
Behind streams of tears
A void back in my head
Side by side with pain
My suffocated words
Couldn't make the effort
To explain the feelings
I undergo
I suffer
In this moment that last forever
Waiting for the Fatal Answer
April 2, 2006 12:45 am
posted by attawie at Sunday, April 02, 2006
2 Comments:
it is beautiful- could use a few little changes, but it definately has all the necessary components of a perfect poem!!!
I love this one more than most of your others!
I am going to edit it to show the few things I would change !
Waiting for the Fatal Answer
Evaporated rivers of hope
Waterfalls of despair
-----
Smothered screams,
struggling in my throat.
Shivering- feverish body
beneath, snatched heartbeats.
With eyes open wide,
behind streams of tears.
Void back in my head-
side by side with pain.
My suffocated world-
couldn't make the effort
to explain the feelings
I undergo
I suffer
In the moment which lasts forever,
waiting for that Fatal Answer.
--- I would make the title more simple also, "Fatal Answer"
hope you didn't mind me doing that!!! I just liked it so much..
and the "suffocated world" is how I accidentally read it the first time!
Liked the changes..
I bet one can make a good poem out of accidentally reading another one wrong.
I published the poem without editing it. it just came to me and I post it right away.
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