Sunday, December 04, 2005

My First Real Step

I know I haven't been posting these days, as if it was important to anyone, but I missed posting.

I took another step forward towards my future, whether if it was about my study, career or whatever. I completed everything relating to my application to MA study. I signed, sealed, delivered my application to University of Toronto.

You may be shocked I talk about my studying abroad for so long and I haven't sent it till yesterday. Well, I applied to many universities, most of them the on line application forms, and I paid for many of them but I didn't finish all of those except for San Antonio Community College, which I was approved and I had to attend my BA there and I didn't.

You may think I was a fool getting a scholarship in the state and never attend it. First of all it was few months after the war but for most it was my family who freaked out to send a young lady, which they still call our baby girl, alone to the states. So, just drop the subject and I'll talk about it later.

The reason why I had to make a new application and do everything all over again is that I finally settled to what I want to be. I finally had the courage to make up my mind and say I want to study this. You may wonder what this "finally" field of study that I've chosen could be.

Let me say first I loved literature since I was in high school but when I studied English literature I fell in love with almost every piece I read weather it was a poem, drama, or novel. When I finished my BA and I had to choose what I want to carry one for MA I couldn't decide if I wanted to go for drama or novels, verse or prose, old or contemporary. Then I thought about linguistics and applied linguistics and most of all psycholinguistics. But again I couldn't say what I wanted. Then I had an offer from my uncle to study MA in American studies in Germany. But I didn't have interest in this field all to it the difficulties of studying English in Germany. Then my aunt offered me to study, the field she is studying now, MA in Education. But it is not what I have in mind.

While I was wandering in University of Toronto (UOT) I found CREATIVE WRITING!!! How good it supposed to get for me to say yes I want this?

It didn't take but few minutes to tell my mum I want to study Creative Writing. She was tiered of me. She just wanted me to chose something that I want and be good in. BUT… she looked at me and said:"Do u know what that means?" I said yes, I want to be a writer. Instead of reading and analyzing others writing I write and make others worry about analyzing.

The next step I had to take was to admit to her that I do write poems and some small pieces which I'd never call short stories. She encouraged me and told me to finish the papers. Which she had done most of it!

As any university, I had to send the application and certificates and a letter of intent. This wasn't that easy for most of my professors are in Jordan and I needed two reference letters from two professors. And I needed a letter from my previous university to insure that I studied the four years in English so I won't need any exam like the GRE or the TOEFL.

Then I had to send a portfolio of 25 page of my own work.

My youngest sister helped me from Jordan to do all that. My aunt, in the states, helped me to contact UOT (she called them several times). And here in UAE, mom and I were running to finish all the papers.

I selected 25 pages of what I've been writing these 4 years and then I needed someone to edit me. I sent some of them to one of the professors in Jordan but I didn't get any rely so my mom had to be the EDITOR.

That freaked me out. I used to share many of my friends what I write. I used to publish in the university's journal BUT to share it with mom!! Forget about it. But I had to.

I opened the word page and prepare everything for my mother to read. I put two chairs so we can read them together. But I couldn't do that. I said:"I have to go to the toilet. Read it and tell me what you think".

I went to the bathroom. Stared at myself in the mirror and thought it's one of two, it's either I'll get a few kisses and "well done doughier" phrase OR "forget about it mama".

I was right. It was one of the tow choices and luckily I got the first.

We made few changes, printed the application form and sent the package, transferred the money and got rid of what was burdening our shoulders. The deadline is on Dec. 15th.

Then we went on a trip by tourist train.
We went to Khor Fakkan beach today.
We'll go to Jumaira Beach tomorrow.

I'll tell you all about everything later


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