Cute Friends

How cute is that!




That's all for now
Maybe we'll learn something!

Za2ir al Layl

He has the guts to show up again! After all these years, after all the explanation I gave to myself for his existence in this world, after doing my best to forget his name, he's here! And for the second time this week!

Standing there with his straight emotionless face, at my door, same face I used to see and swear to everyone that he's smiling at me. Oh God, I forgot how much I hate him now. But his presence brings back bunch of memories, sweet and bitter, that I do treasure.

I don't remember how we first met but I'm sure it was in my grandma's house when I was very young, maybe 5 years old or even younger. I never liked him and my grandma used to tell me "Just ignore him. Forget he's there"

All mischief happens when he's around. I remember once I was very annoyed for his presence and I decided to raise the broom to scare him and since the broom stick was taller than me, as well as my young sister, it fell on her head and she was taken to the ER and she came home with couple of stitches in her head. She always blames ME for that and not him! Not even once!

And there he is standing as high as the door, pretending he's cool. But I swear I saw him breathing fast and could count his heartbeats. I was told once that he senses other's heartbeats and knows if people are intimidated by him. So whenever I see him
I do my best not to show my pulse has reached over 150 bpm.

After all these years, I forgot how much I hate him. I remember when I was a teenager; he "accidentally" came in to family bathroom when I was there. I kept screaming and shouting at him. And later thanked God that my bathroom was fixed ASAP so I won't have to go to the family bathroom and remember this embarrassing experience.

Today, standing in the flesh, facing me with his ever known rudeness, in no doubt of the feelings I had for him, and certain that today I despise him more than ever and hated the sound of his name, staring at me without a blink. I gaze at him telling myself "I'm strong enough to face him. He's nothing. I'll survive this moment and will brag about it later" which I'm not sure of right now.

I decided to act like him. He stares, I stare back. He says nothing, I say nothing too. He pretends to ignore me. I pretend to ignore him too. He stands there silently; I'm silent still… until I came to my senses and remembered I'm all by myself and the last thing on earth I would want is to be with him in the same room with no one else around. All my fears for this moment were what if he steps in?

I was working on a piece of art, using a trimmer and wooden tools, my hand grabbed the nearest scalpel. Yes, I used scalpels and I have many sizes. Holding the scalpel in my hands, raised it to make sure he'll notice it I said with a firm voice "addamorrak, agga6i3ak, ashari7ak… etha tfakir tidkhul" (I'll destroy you, cut you into pieces, and dissect you… if you think of coming in).

To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if he understood a word but I'm sure these words were enough to alarm him and that's how he decided to wait until I was not looking at him so he can escape from the opening between the ceiling and the door and save face. Lizards!

After I graduated from the 4th grade, during the summer when I had a very long curly hair, I used to tie my pony tail really high so the hair won't touch my neck. I was playing at our neighbors' garden with my sister and their two daughters. Their two young men cousins where staying with them so they were in the garden to witness the scene. The girls and I were playing with dolls and I felt my hair was on my arm. It ticked me so I pulled my hair to the other side. Something was still there and that's when I started shouting and running, followed by the girls, all hurrying towards my house and some other kids from the street started running with us.

I went in to my mom, crying and telling her: "I looked at him while he was standing on my arm… I moved my arm… he looked at me... He ran towards my hand… then looked left and right as if he's crossing a street and then went to the finger in the middle and jumped to the porch". He was very tiny that you may see his guts through his pink skin. That summer I was no longer the girl with the long hair.

In the year 2000, I moved to bigger room which had a bigger window the only door to the backyard garden that was known as Attawie's garden. I was very excited about having a bigger room and a garden for myself. I kept dreaming about making it something like "7adeeqat Ommi" (my mother's garden) the one I used to see in Sandy Bell cartoon. All my dreams went in vain with the first visit paid by a huge gigantic lizard. The door was locked ever since and was covered from all sides with sponge and wood.

My mother is a real Lizard-buster. Even neighbors used to call her to help them with such situation. She has a broom stick that she used only for the purpose of killing this creature, in addition to a sort of pest control gun with a formula called "nogoss" (if that's the right spelling). He was able to hi that huge lizard but it wasn't enough to kill him. But he disappeared. After about a month he appeared in my sister's room with two tails! He started to appear several times here and there and no one could catch him. We started calling him "abu thailain" (the one with two tails)

Then he paid me another visit and disappeared. I saw him leave the room but nobody outside the room saw him coming out. After a while a small lizard was about to enter my room and disappeared! I thought there must be a reason why lizards disappear next to my door. That's when I discovered that there was a missing piece of wood on the top of my door where lizard can get inside the door itself. We covered the place of the missing piece with a sticking tape as well as the whole of the lock. I left the door open for days until I could touch the handle. Eventually I forgot about it.
The next summer, I heard scratching sound and a weird screaming sound but not of a human. Then a wounded average-sized lizard came out followed by "abu thailain"! I left the room and things were taken care of by my mother and I don't even want to know the rest of the story.

That's all for now
And I hope I won't see a lizard again

Trab Attawie

So, life goes on and we move on...

My sister and I were chatting the other day and she asked for the recipe of the banana sweet. She said A is keeping one of our dishes and refuses to give it back unless he's compensated with another dish of this sweet.

It seems before I leave Jordan, four years back, (FOUR YEARS ALREADY!!!) anyways, it seems that I made him this sort of sweets and he's been asking my sister to make it or at least teach him how to make it. I told my sister everything step by step and then told her to put extra biscuits until it feels like there's sand in the mouth and that's how the name was given to this sort of sweets. Trab al milook (king's sand).

The recipe requires the sort of white cream that was an Iraqi brand, Qish6at Canoon. another ingredient was Biscuit Mary, also found in Iraq only. I told her what to do and what substitutes that can she use in Amman. Then I was inspired to prepare it myself.

Lazy me, didn't want to change and go downstairs for shopping, I put ready made cream whip. Since it was to creamy I add Cerelac to thicken it. Yep guilty, I still eat Cerelac :D

And since I'm too lazy to write right now, enjoy these photos to know the rest.

White cream


Crushed biscuits

Mashed bananas

Mix

Add Walnuts and almond

Spread on a dish and cover it with crushed biscuits


Enjoy




It was very delicious but still not the trab al milook I used to prepare in Iraq. It was sort of trab al milook minus Biscuit Mary and Qish6at kanoon.. that's how I came up with the name Trab Attawie

That's all for now
and taste Trab al Milook in Baghdad

On a Day Like Today

After years of living in the sense of lost, after years of trying to maintain the needed hope, after saying all the prayers needed to preserve wisdom, after all years of avoiding insanity, after all the years of being in denial and convincing myself of Holding on, I come to realize that years would never stop passing by and this day of the year would no doubt come and I have to face it.

I'm away from beloved Baghdad. I'm away from family and friends. I'm away from the land I was born on; away of the soil I took my first step on, away from the house I was raised in, away from my neighbors, I'm away … but… not mind and soul.
War, chaos, loss of uncountable people and things, unemployment, corrupted system, mysteries, sadness, chain of mischief, lost dreams, burnt houses, smell of death, widows, orphans, tears, sad stories, cruel memories… That's all what we are left with?

Promises are never kept. Lies are said for free. History is writing while people are looking away. I don't want to write another poem. It's just the same haunting story. Politicians are merely but a joke. People are treated like sheep. An observer is watching like a jerk.

I don't want to sound devastated. I don't want to show despair. I just want to tell you the picture is not pleasant, And it needs a lot of repair. What's going on right now is unfair.

I lost my focus and lost my words. I'm not sure if it makes sense. But that's all you're going to get on a Day Like Today. Life is frozen… the clock is broken. The prayers you're saying are not answered today.

It may read like a poem. It may seem like an epitaph but it's nothing but a stirring thought; A rage that has been calm; Waiting for the right time: to take an action and answer the call of the Palm.

Oh Iraq, returning has become the dream that makes my day. Your memory is the sweetness in this bitter life. You are the sound of laughter, background music for this noisy life, the kiss on a mother's forehead, the grip of an infant fist.

That's all for now.

A Picnic on the Beach

Palm Trees on Sharjah Beach, on a windy day as it seems.



Nature's Peom



Sea Foam



Absurdity



The Poor Starfish That I found dried on the beach.

That's all for now

No Bells!

Apart from the weird cough, and the cough syrup I'm taking every six hours that makes me shake my entire body like a dog that just came out of water, I can say I'm relatively fine. But I'm warning you. You need a muzzle to read the entire post.

The birthday girl couldn't sleep last night because of the cough. Therefore, spend the day in bed aching from the numerous injuries she received yesterday in the park. The badminton champion ship was called off because of the terrible wind. We enjoyed football and cycling instead – which explains the additional pain I'm feeling. One of the girls and I got the double driver with two extra seats and we took the kids for a ride. It was fun. The bell was not working so we had to scream at people "no bells" or at times "Aaaaaa". Hills were really fun.

It was like a joke to all of us in that huge bicycle. I didn't plan for it but the steering wheel as well as the brakes where under my control. With each turn and crossroad, or downhill everyone was screaming in happiness and the wind was giving them a refreshing sense. Two weeks back we saw four guys flipping the carriage over their heads. We laughed as they laughed at themselves. One the other hand, me w the three kids and the friend next to me, no bells, heavy wind, and the crowded park; it WAS a huge responsibility.

At times my sister would drive in front of us and ring the bell to make people avoid us. But that wasn't the case at most of the time. The kids asked me to go to the fountain and we went and enjoyed water drizzle on our faces. Then they kept urging me "sara3a.. sara3a" (i.e sur3a = faster faster). I gave them that joy but we ended up in a downhill garden. They kept laughing while I managed hard to get us back to the aisle.

Later we ad chocolate cake as well as English cake after the delicious kebab, chicken and don't know how many kinds of salads. I didn't help in BBQ but I helped in keeping the kids busy and chitchatting next to the BBQ area.

***

Absolutely, there would be time in my journey where I'll be in a trouble where I'll need to take a breath, look at the scene and try my best to get out and I will be able to find my way of it all by myself. Other times I may need to ask a friend to "ring the bell" for me, it's alright to ask for help. Life is like this but we need to have faith.

A couple of hours back I blew my candle. Yep, one musical funny candle. This year, I'm keeping my wishes, hopes and dreams to myself : ) I feel I'm older this year and a lot wiser and taking things more serious. I'm thankful to God, I'm thankful for all blesses in my life. And thank you for being a friend in my journey.


That's all for now…

And hopefully, there would be more

I am Sorry!

You name it.

Oh… it feels like ages since I posted something.

The flu, cold or whatever you call it, started as a runny funny nose. On day two it accompanied fever. Day three developed a throat pain for the early morning, stuffy nose during the afternoon and then was crowned with a silly cough. Next day that silly cough became seriously not silly with a snoring sound at the end.

Doesn't it seem boring?

Today I decided to take my sister to the sport equipment shop in the neighborhood. I told her it's across the main road, to encourage her. After her nap she woke up unlike herself, I mean not grumpy. Or maybe she would be like that only when I keep bugging her to wake up.

Put my jacket and took my purse and we closed the door behind.

When walking, I tend to have big fast steps. No turning left or right unless I'm crossing roads. Straight-faced me with no smiles and my head lifted a bit high but keeping my eyes where I'm stepping. My eyes move quickly to scan ahead, ground, slightly left and right. I forgot all about my sister's problem with her legs and kept telling her "hurry up".

This made me feel guilty most of the way back and forth when it hit me she just can't.

Before we reach the store, I told her pretend we're not interested and that we were just looking. I wear this indifferent face whenever I'm buying a thing. We found what we were searching for. "featherballs" and their rackets. The ones we got, has been giving us hard time due to the cheap price. Checked almost everything in the store and then we got what we wanted and walked home again.

I love this game. I've been playing it since I was second grade, I think. During the war we used to have daily tournaments. This sport was everything to me at certain age. I would play it at school, in the club, in our garden, at the neighbors' garden, in the street and everywhere I could carry it. I felt I was superior! My serve was really remarkable and I used to give names to each one, just like the baseball animation we used to watch.

My sister and I were grade 3 again!

We played for more than an hour, in our room! Each one of us was sitting on her bed, with her racket in her hand and we played Reeesha ("feather" as we call it in Arabic.)

Tomorrow morning, with other three families, along with my weird cough, we're going to Za3beel Park. I think it's the hugest park in the UAE. Kids will be there and three birthdays in this month will be celebrated with a big chocolate cake tomorrow.

That's all for now… and

I'll update you who'll win the tournament.

Coloured Balls of Wool

 

Bloggers' Meeting... Yet another Chapter

OMG I deleted something and it turned out it's Amman's diary. There were two copies so I decided to delete the other and it turned out that was a different folder but the same name! Thanks God I've got this post as drafts.

I keep digging in my Recycle Bin hopping that I can retrieve the folder but no use.

Chapter No.7
Meeting Melanterys

When I first arrived to Amman, I was staying with my mother's cousin. They had ADSL and I thought I was blessed to have such a fast internet. But I just reached Amman and I had a lot of things to do and many people to see so I didn't have enough time to be online or post. Nevertheless, I used to check my e-mail or skype for a very short while before sleeping. And that's how I started to receive e-mails from Mel. She asked me about the weather and what to wear. After about a week of e-mailing each others I moved to the new flat where there was no landline i.e. no internet.
I never chatted with Mel nor e-mailed her before. But I read her posts and every now and then and I would leave her a comment. At the same time she used to leave me some comments and we used to communicate in Anarki's, the Kid's or Morbido's blogs.

When Mel reached Amman, I was busy with my sister's wedding. I had plans to invite Mel so she would see an Iraqi wedding but there was a misunderstanding, I thought she was arriving midnight Aug.15 and turned out she was arriving the night before. A stupid mistake. And when I found out that she has arrived I thought it was too late and my grandma kept scolding me for not inviting her. Anyway, after the wedding Anarki called and said there's the gang is planning another meeting. So I set the time and place and we all met again in al Hussain Park.

.................................................

The rest of the diary has vanished and I'm glad I posted the previous chapters. At least they are retrievable. But I'm very sorry about the rest, especially the next chapter which was titled as "Two Archeologist Women". But you can read about it on Melantrys' blog.

I have a flu and I'll keep lamenting about the folder so

That's all for now
And... I'm sniffing some more